Lace

32

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In the debts of darkness, I saw myself. my past. Lurking in muddy waters.

Suffering.

I felt myself suffering. Like a children's teddy draped in shreds of glass.

A tragedy.

It's what this darkness felt like. Bound. Reliant. Dependent.

It made me feel powerless. I wanted to take away the power from those murky memories... to prove to myself that I've moved on.

But like a tidal wave, it kept resurfacing. Like a tornado of destructive waves hitting me one by one. Each bash more overpowering than the last.

The first wave was of when I was a child, stemming from a pitiful fight between my parents. They became a shell of the people they were.

Shouting. Cursing. mummering. Insulting.

I heard it all from inside the cupboard of my room. it was my own house back then. I spent most of my days sitting inside that small box... it was my escape. But that night it felt like a prison.

I don't remember the whole night, but I remember the feelings. The feelings that no child should feel.

I felt at fault. Like they were fighting about me.

I remember my father saying something about how she puts me before him, and wanted to tell her to forget about me. She didn't deserve the ridicule for loving me.

I began doubting my worth as a child, and that broke me till this day.

It was the first day I can remember feeling so powerless. Not being able to defend my mother from the terror that is my father. It hurt me in a way that no torture can.

Then came my first job... a contracted vagrant.

A young business man approached us one day. "I see potential in your eyes." He told Riley. He offered us a job, payment being good, daily food and an occasional reward. Riley thought that it would be a good idea, so we accepted.

It sounded easy enough. He allocated us an area. We had to raise a minimum of 50 bucks, daily. He'd come and fine us by the night with a meal, and we'd pay him the money. The rest that we make is all for us.

We were dumb to agree.

The first week was fine. It was the week of Christmas. Everyone was in a giving mood.

Then came the next...

His voice echoed like thunder among the empty streets. I didn't even realize how loud he was until his silence was deafening. He demanded his pay one way or another and took Riley and I.

It was the first night that I truly felt objectified.

Then it was no more.

Light. Blinding. Bright. Fearless... sickening.

I woke up feeling nauseous. An unconfutable pain worked it's way within my stiff muscles as I tried to adjust to my surroundings.

The feeling was merciless.

I was still in the room. cables hooked to my arm. Chemicals dripping into my vein.

The whole thing felt forging.

"Lace." A voice called. Broken, it sounded. As though the person had gone through hell and back and the only sort of redemption was the sound of my name on his tongue.

I looked over, though blurry vision making out my beast's stature. I smiled, then remembered the unnecessary actions that lead me passing out in the first place. My smile faded. He noticed it. I knew by his slight wince and the momentary halt in his actions.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, but I could find no energy to respond. So, I nodded, telling him that I'm fine.

He came close, leaving behind the comfort of his makeshift office in the corner of my room. he looked at me, as if seeing my state for the first time then took my hand in his, his hold so delicate and light.

He kneeled down, making me look down on the beast and placed a soft kiss on each finger of my hand.

I didn't know how to comprehend it. I was hardly even fully conscience yet charmingly arousing head soured from each kiss. "I promised you no harm, yet I did this to you." He looked me in the eye, "I'm so sorry, I've failed you." The beat's head was hung in shame, and I caved. I cupped his face in my numb hands and looked at him through teary eyes telling him how none of this was his fault. It wasn't. honestly.

But he didn't seem to believe it. eventually we settled down. I started feeling a bit more conscious and felt more at easy than I did when I woke.

Yet still, I felt numb. My body sore from laying in one position but I was too withdrawn to move. So, we laid together, his head on my lap while he sat on the floor with my hands finding peace in his hair.

I felt calm. No need to proclaim power, to be strong to protect. I just felt mellow.

Then the doors opened.

"Erebus, how is she doing?" a strange voice asked. I've come to know all the voices in this building, but never once have I heard his.

I turned over, to look at the man dressed in basic, plain white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His gaze was on the blue file in his hand, looking lost in thought and talking absentmindedly.

Finally, he looked up: brown on gold.

His amber eyes looked like gold against the braze of sun. for soe reason I found myself sinking further towards, but the feeling was not due to fear.

"Aah, she's awake."

**
So, a new guy huh.

I was meant to publish this chapter days ago, but I'll admit... I haven't really been in the best place recently. I felt like I was doing an injustice in such an important chapter but I also dont see myself returning to my best self anytime soon, so I have to try and still progress. Thus i decided to publish this chapter.

If you like it, please vote, share or comment. It would really help me. More than you can imagine.

Till next time,

mgc

~Virgo.