Growing Up Beside You [John Lennon/Beatles Fanfiction]

32. Who do you keep lookin' at? (1)

The hallways of Quarry Bank High School were always the same at quarter to nine on a Monday morning. Boisterous and crammed like a tin of sardines. Books were being shoved into lockers in preparation for the long week ahead, whilst others loitered in favour of a good chitchat. Social circles became reunited once again, sharing gossip that had accumulated over the forty-eight hours of studious freedom. A parade of students bustled down the humanities corridor, John Lennon and Pete Shotton amongst them. The two boys were laughing with each other as they routinely recited their favourite quotations from the latest episode of The Goon Show.

"What about when Henry says, "Didn't you know; the moon is made of green cheese?"

John grinned and put on his best quavering Minnie Bannister voice. He pinched his neck and wobbled it about, just as Spike Milligan did. "Pooh! Oh, we can have it for supper Henry!"

Pete laughed. "Eye, Moriarty," he said and tapped John on the chest with the back of his hand as he changed character. "Who were those ladies I saw you with last night?"

"Those were no ladies, those were bearded men."

Both teenagers giggled and John's smile suddenly grew wider when he caught sight of Dominic Port-Dickerson walking in his direction. John instantly sprung up to the pretentious prefect and he reeled backwards, stunned by John's unbidden emergence.

"Pardonnezz moyz, mon-swars," John imitated Neddie Seagoon's piss-poor French with comical exaggeration. "Voolezz voooz tell me where is le sal de bain?"

"Do you mind?" Dominic scoffed and pushed John away from him. "The French would be insulted by that lousy accent."

"They'd be more insulted by yer face, Diddy-Dick," John retorted. Pete giggled.

"Yes, ha-ha, I'll be the one laughing when you ask a Frenchman for the bathroom and get bath salts instead. It's la sal de bain, not le sal de bain. Honestly, five years of French lessons, and you haven't learned—"

"Oh shut up, you heavily-oiled French Wreck!" John and Pete exclaimed simultaneously.

Nearby, a group of lads laughed. It was only the thoroughly agitated Dominic that hadn't understood the Goon reference.

Dominic's smile was condescending. "Let's see how long you'll last out of trouble this week, shall we, Lennon?"

"Longer than you last in bed, la'."

Pete Oohed and raised a fist to his grinning mouth. Just like his best friend, he was always one to stir the pot.

"Do you even get birds, Diddy-Dick?" John edged closer to Dominic, ready to torment the boy further.

"Yeah," Pete chimed in, leaning his arm on John's shoulder. "Have you ever got yer dick wet?"

John popped his chewing gum. "Only when he wets the bed."

"You're not allowed chewing gum in school,"
Dominic spat, his face flushing.

"I'm not?" John gasped and turned to Pete. "Did you known we're not allowed to chew gum in school, Peter?"

"Why no, John, I did not!"

"Oh, I'm ever so sorry, Dominic!" John spoke with a posh-toff accent. "What a violation!"