When Shadows Fall | BTS Kim Namjoon

Chapter 38: Wasted Time

I finished my last sentence, made a decisive dot to end it, and sat back to look at my answers. After the calamity that had been the last history test, I was afraid to be too hopeful, but there had been no panic this time. No closed elevators, no forced taking of the stairs, no disjointed thoughts flooding my head.

The next thing on my schedule was my shift at the school newspaper, but first I whipped out my phone and sent a message to Namjoon. My test is FINALLY over with! HIIIII I missed you so much!! How have you been? :)

I put my phone back in my pocket, smiling as my body relaxed. Texting Namjoon again felt like taking a breath after being held underwater. And yes, I'd been the one holding myself under the water in this metaphor, but I thought it had paid off – I'd find out for sure once the grades came out.

About two days into my self-imposed studious seclusion, I'd complained to Jisuk at breakfast about how dumb I was and how much I wanted to text everyone (everyone meaning my brother and Areum and a couple of school friends, but mostly Namjoon). She had agreed with the dumb bit and told me to text them anyways.

But I'd said I was going to just study, so just study I had. How could I go back on my request after making such a big deal of it? Especially since I still thought it had been a good idea.

Plus, I'd been a bit worried that I'd been getting dependent on Namjoon, and it had been nice to know that yes, I could still function perfectly fine without him. I didn't need to be hanging my whole reason for happiness on any one person, not now or ever.

However, I could not even convey how glad I was to have it over with. When I entered the elevator and felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I could feel my grin growing stupidly wide and didn't even care.

Namjoon's text read, Chunhwa!!!! I missed you too, I truly suffered but I did what you asked even though it ripped my heart out (or gave me a paper cut or something equally painful 😅) I've been suffering but otherwise great – how about you?

As I started tapping out a response, the other person in the elevator spoke. "Hey, are you... are you the girl I read about in the school newspaper? The one who was almost kidnapped from her apartment?"

I sucked in a breath and locked my phone, meeting the girl's eyes. "Yes. That was me."

"Wow," she said. "I'm... you were looking so happy and smiling so big, I wasn't sure if I was right or not."

"What, because I should never be happy again after what happened?" I snapped, knowing I shouldn't but not wanting to back down. "I fought hard to be able to smile again, thank you very much."

"Jeez, sorry!" The girl looked away and shifted closer to the other wall of the elevator.

I took a deep breath. Apologize? I should. But should I have to?

The elevator stopped before I could decide, the girl's stop not mine. As the doors opened, I spoke before she could rush out. "Sorry for overreacting," I said flatly.

"Sorry," she said less defensively, then stepped out. The doors shut, and I went on to my floor.

I hated being recognized as "the girl in the papers." Every time it happened, I became more aware of how easy it would be for some random person to find me – a search in the papers, a scouring of social media, and that would probably be enough to show up at my apartment door.

(And that was with only three papers, two if you discounted the school paper, originally publishing articles about the incident.)

I sighed and stepped out at my floor, pulling my phone out again. I'd already written, I'm doing well! Quickly I added, Just got recognized again so that sucks. It only happens once every 1-2 months for me – I REALLY can't imagine being you. Lol thank you for suffering for me, you're a true gentleman xD