Before I Go

Chapter 34- Mean Girls

Have you ever watched those cringey high school movies that almost entirely incorrectly portray the high school experience for dramatic effect? So, in those way-too-unrealistic movies, there's pretty much always a group of girls who will do just about anything to be popular, right? You know, the typical mean girls. They're the ones who don't care whom they hurt or how many people they have to step on to get what they want; it's all about their rise to the top in search of whatever power a kid in high school could actually have. Which, if I'm honest, can't possibly be much. It's like the only thing that is truly important to these girls is... Well, themselves, really. So, in the movies, these girls usually have a bunch of followers instead of friends. Like, that kind of fake friends who only want to be seen with you because of your status or who you're close to or what you can do for them--the ones that are obviously using you for something to their own benefit.

Friends by association equals guaranteed popularity, right?

Part of me has always felt bad for these imaginary stereotypical girls, knowing that they've never really experienced true friendship and that the people they think care about them actually don't give a flying fart when it really comes down to it. Honestly, I've found myself relating to them in this way, at least a little bit.

I've watched these kinds of movies countless times before, more so back in those middle school days. When I was younger, I'd always thought that this kind of stuff was just make-believe. I was sure that teenagers wouldn't really act like wild animals, free of the burdens of emotions when it comes to interacting with their peers. Honestly, I had sincerely expected that everyone would grow out of their childish and immature ways after puberty hit. I'd believed that the unnecessary bullying and putting others down would finally cease, and we'd all enter high school as better people. You know, kinder, more mature, less hateful people. We're supposed to become wiser as we get older, right?

Unfortunately, life doesn't really work like that; I found out the hard way. Much to my dismay, the reality is that some people actually get worse once they hit high school.

Serena Harrison is definitely one of those who changed for the worse. As the leader of my school's very own group of mean girls, she is the epitome of popular; Serena is basically what most of the girls in my school aspire to be. She's vicious and uncaring, and I think that her disgusting behavior stems primarily from being able to get away with everything she does. As much as it sucks, I'm pretty sure all of her victims are far too afraid of further retaliation against them to ever report her for the horrible things she does. It's just an endless cycle because of the insane amount of fear she inflicts on people.

And currently, I'm Serena's main target. All because I'm the one standing between her and the one thing (person, rather) she wants most--Parker Adams.

I know that my anxiety makes me overthink literally everything, but... this whole thing with Serena has been occupying my thoughts much more than I'd care to admit. I kind of feel bad for her, if I'm honest. I mean, being rejected is, like, one of the worst things, right? It is for me, anyway. Obviously, I'm not sure if it's a similar experience for "normal" people, but I can imagine it's not very pleasant at all.

But on the other hand, is it really so hard to understand when a boy simply isn't into you? In this case, Parker has clearly expressed that he is not interested in Serena--as in, he has directly spelled it out for her in a way that couldn't possibly be misinterpreted. So I know that such a rejection really sucks, but at some point, you have to accept it and move on with your life, right? There's really no point in continuously pursuing something you've already been blatantly told you can never have.

Right?

I guess it's not really any of my business either way. And it's probably in my best interest to just keep my nose out of it.

Ugh, I'm super annoyed with myself for wasting so much precious time and energy thinking about this. About her. And I'll never get that back. But even more than that, I'm beyond nervous about going to school today. I'm sure there will be plenty of gossip about Parker and me going around, especially after our little excursion on Friday. I mean, of course, people will be talking about the fact that we both coincidentally missed school on the exact same day, especially after everything else that has happened publicly between us already. If I'm honest, I'm not sure how Little Miss Popular is going to handle hearing the rumors that are sure to spread about it. Not that I really care how she's feeling... gosh, that sounds so mean; I probably should have chosen kinder words to express that point. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that my biggest concern is that Serena will find some way to retaliate against me for completely ignoring her warnings about staying away from Parker.

Again.

And because this isn't the first time I've so carelessly disregarded her threats, I'm almost positive that the repercussions will be much more drastic than simply shoving me into a wall and screeching in my face. Is that something I'm ready for? Let's don't even mention the fact that Parker and I are now... whatever we are. I guess we've grown closer. There's no way that Serena will be anything other than furious about that.

Yep, I'm probably getting my butt kicked today.

And there will likely be a whole new onslaught of disturbing and vicious rumors spreading around about me.

It's like my lucky day or something. But, I suppose, if that's the price I have to pay to be around Parker... Well, then, I think it might just be worth it.

Serena be damned.