Before I Go

Bonus #1- A Time To Say Goodbye

"Are you sure you've got everything? You don't have to do this, you know," my mom says, her eyes frantically looking me over as I pack the last of my bags into the trunk of Parker's car before slamming it closed. "You can just stay here, and I'll keep taking care of you for as long as you need."

I can't stop the small smile from tipping up the corners of my lips; my mom has been acting like this since I brought up the subject months ago. "I'll be fine, Mom," I assure her, turning my attention from the car to her overly worried expression. "It's not like I'm moving across the country or anything; I'll only be a couple of hours away. You can come to visit anytime you want, and I promise I'll come home as often as I can."

Her gaze continues to scan my face before she finally gives me a short nod, a deep exhale rushing from her lungs at the same time. She looks like she's going to cry, and I don't know if my heart can take that. "I just worry about you so much," she whispers, the apparent pain in her voice causing my heart to squeeze slightly. She takes a deep breath to steady herself and says, "Promise me you'll eat healthy every day, and you'll continue using the coping mechanisms the therapist taught you." I nod along as she speaks, but before I can give her a verbal answer, she turns her sights on Parker. Narrowing her eyes at him, she adds, "And you take good care of my baby, you hear me?"

Parker gives her a reassuring smile, and I can't help but roll my eyes at her insane overprotectiveness. It's endearing, I admit, but I'm about to be twenty years old... It's about time I set out into the world on my own.

Well, not entirely on my own; Parker will be with me. And Ashton will be nearby, as well.

"Please, don't worry, Mom," I say, wrapping my arms around her in a comforting hug. "Everything will be okay."

She returns my embrace for longer than necessary, but I don't bother to complain; I can imagine how hard this must be for her after everything that's happened in the last few years. Still, there comes a time in every little bird's life that they must leave the nest and learn to fly.

This is my time.

I've never felt more ready to spread my wings, to venture into the unknown and see what I can make of myself. I've already put off college long enough; if I don't go now, I may never have the chance again.

When my mom finally musters the strength to pull away from me, I'm suddenly hit with an unexpected and slightly overwhelming wave of sadness as my next words leave my mouth. "Well, I suppose we should be going if we don't want to be stuck in traffic all afternoon."

Squeezing her eyes shut as the tears finally begin to fall, my mom nods her head, patting my shoulders lightly. Her teary gaze meets mine for a moment before redirecting to Parker, offering him a watery smile. "You two be safe," she says, her voice choked with emotion as she looks between the two of us for a final time in what could be weeks or possibly months. "Be good to each other always, and call me if you need anything at all. I'll drop absolutely everything and anything to come to you if you need me, no matter the time of day, okay? Don't ever hesitate to ask for my help."

Her voice cracks, and her words catch in her throat, and I find it almost impossible to not break down right here, right now. I could change my mind entirely and just stay home for another year or ten. I could find happiness here in my hometown, right? I don't necessarily need to go to college... As much as I want to achieve my dreams, I could find a way to do it from home, right?

"Well, go on," she murmurs, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. "Get out of here before I beg you to stay, okay? As much as I'm gonna miss you, I know I need to let you do this," my mom states, curving her lips upward. "I'm proud of you, Morgan," she says, reaching a hand up to caress my face. "And you, too, Parker," she adds, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "And I love you both more than you could ever know."

Silence lingers between the three of us for an unknown amount of time as we simply soak in the moment. Somehow, leaving my mom behind right now is harder than I had anticipated it would be. I've been hesitant about leaving her, fearing this very moment ever since my dad split on us; Mom's going to be all alone in our big, empty house for the next four years. While I know she has the strength to withstand it, I can't help but feel somewhat guilty; perhaps if I had asked for help... or admitted sooner that I had a problem... my dad would never have left.

No, Morgan, we're not doing this anymore.

No more blaming yourself for other people's actions. You only control your own behaviors; what others do is a reflection of themselves and has nothing to do with you. No matter what his reason for leaving was, it absolutely was not your fault that your dad chose to end his marriage.

"Now, enough of this emotional stuff," my mom interrupts my daydreaming. "Hit the road."

"I love you, Mom," I say, trying my best to keep my raging emotions at bay. "We'll see you soon, okay?"

"I love you, too, sweetie," she says softly, watching as Parker and I get into the car and waving dramatically as we finally drive away, setting off on our newest adventure.

As sad as I am to leave my mom, I'm thoroughly looking forward to this journey, and I'm absolutely thrilled to have Parker Adams by my side.