Lockdown Summer

XII. Keep Telling Yourself That

Lockdown Day 90

"I have an idea," I announced to them.

Pablo commanded Mindy to pause what he's watching and faced me. Rica, from one of the chairs next to the dining table, looked up from her phone.

"I think we deserve a celebration," I said.

"For?" she asked.

"For everything. For your thing. For all this. Forget what I said before. Let's consume Andrei's tequila down to the last drop."

"I like where this is going, Marco," Pablo said. And he's already gone to where he hid the bottle weeks ago.

I dropped my butt on one end of the couch and told Mindy to resume what's playing on the TV. It's an older episode of Game of Thrones.

Rica transferred to one of those ugly green chairs. She's in all-black this time, a loose shirt and runner shorts. "What's up with you?" she asked me. "Why are you so cheerful tonight?"

I shrugged. "It's the weekend," I sloppily said.

Pablo came back with the liquor, shot glasses, and packs of potato chips. "Are we going to last until The Red Wedding?" And he sat on the other end of the couch. "I can't watch that episode sober anymore."

"Can Mindy, like, jump to a certain episode?" Rica asked him. "Hey, Mindy, play The Red Wedding instead." Of course, there's no response from the AI. "Or can it, like, recognize a scene? I'm not good with titles, but I remember what happened. What if I want to re-watch that part with the Night's Watch and one of the giants? That one at the gate."

"Uh..." Pablo stared at me and scratched the bottom of his chin. "That's not a bad idea."

"Not an easy one either," I said. "But that'd be cool."

I lost track of how many rounds of shots we've had, but I found myself laughing with those two at whatever either of them thought was funny from what we're watching. I had no idea how we ended up trading Game of Thrones for an old teen movie that involved a road trip.

Rica told Pablo she's skipping that round. "I have to pee," she added.

He snorted and argued that it's her second time refusing a shot. "You're cheating," he said with a laugh.

"No, I'm not. I really have to pee." She stood up and walked to the bathroom at the back of the house.

I reached for it. "I'll take hers." And downed the drink.

I rotated the glass in my hand over again before I laid it back in the middle of the table.

Pablo grinned at me mischievously.

"What?" I asked.

He answered me with a dry laugh. "Boy, Marco."

"What?"

He shook his head, looked away, and laughed once more.

The tequila started kicking in my head again and in stronger strides than earlier.

"No," I lied. "Not like that."

"Right. Keep telling yourself that."

It's around one a.m. when I saw that the bottle was already empty. Pablo and I were sitting on the floor with our backs against the couch. Rica slouched on the chair nearest to the TV. And there's a paused movie on the screen.

Sometime before that, we may have made fun of each other. I may have said something about how Rica's laugh sounded, and she may have laughed, which made me laugh the silliest laughter. But I remembered it clearly that it's Pablo who finished the last drops of that tequila.

"I'm going to kill Andrei," he slurred.

"You can't," I said. "You already did last time."

"I'd double-tap him."

Rica yawned aloud. "Excuse me, boys," she said as she stood up. "I'm going to..." Then she's off to the stairs, slowly, but squarely.

"I was just joking," Pablo slurred again.

"Huh?"

"About Andrei."

"Of course, you were."

Pablo was snoring on the couch when I cleared the table. I went upstairs after.

What happened next took away the drunken haze from around my head.

I made innumerable mistakes and unmentionable moves in the past. I'd take them back if I could. Then I'd think about them later on and decide they're necessary for what I've become today.

The event that followed was another one of those. But it's one that'd make me think if it didn't happen, then where would I be now?

I opened the door right across the bathroom by mistake. "Oh. I'm sorry," I said when it hit me that it wasn't my room anymore because Rica was standing by the dresser drawers. "I... This was my room before. Sorry." I closed it and imagined myself kicking my own head.

"It's okay," she called after me before the locks clicked.

I was two steps away in that tiny hallway when that door opened again.

She dropped her hand from the doorknob when I turned around. She took that two steps as well and stood right in front of me.

My thoughts aligned at that moment. Rica. Girl. Hot. Crampy space. Her eyes. On mine, down and up. The taste of booze, but never mind. Rica. Girl. Here. Me. Guy. Her. Me.

I wanted to. I was going to.

And then she smiled while biting her bottom lip, shook her head, and looked down on the floor where our feet were grounded.

She took those two steps backward and disappeared to the other side of that door.

And my thoughts were, again, disarrayed.