Forget You Later (PREVIEW / Sample Chapters Only)

Chapter Ten

Napabuntung-hininga si Jake nang sa paglabas ng locker area ng indoor shooting range ng police academy ay nakita niyang nasa lobby si Matthew Saieri, kausap ang ilang rookie. Sumulyap siya sa wristwatch, mag-a-alas nueve na ng gabi. Puwede na niyang idahilan uli na pagod siya sa maghapong trabaho at sa mahigit na isang oras na required requalification exam sa paghawak ng tatlong klase ng baril na naka-issue sa kanya.

Her wrists felt a bit sore, she could barely feel some of her fingers and her hair still smelled of gunpowder. This has been a long, busy, toxic week - at alam iyon ni Matt. Wala siya sa mood na lumabas o humarap sa seryosong usapan,lalo na sa alam niyang gusto ni Matt na pag-usapan nila.

At ilang buwan na rin nitong sinusubukan. Hindi ba ito nakakahalata? Tatlong taon na silang magkakilala at magkaibigan, dapat ay alam na nito ang ibig sabihin ng pag-iwas niya sa topic na iyon at huwag nang ipilit ang gusto. Why won't he just forget about it?

Naiinis na tuloy siya sa kakulitan nito. Pakiramdam niya ay pine-pressure siya at hindi nire-respeto ang kakayahang mag-desisyon o gawin ang gusto.

"Hey, Matt, what are you doing here? Thought you'd be on a stakeout with the task force?" pilit ang ngiting bati niya sa kaibigan. Tumango siya sa mga kausap nito, pumirma sa log book bago ini-scan ang ID sa panel sa tabi ng pinto at lumabas na.

"Yeah, but I'm still free until elwven so I thought we could have dinner at Tosca's? My treat," sumabay ito sa kanya, nakangiti pero mataman siyang pinagmamasdan.

She hates it, she knows exactly that Matt has heen in love with her without him saying it outright. The man was just too obvious.

Hindi sila pareho ng nararamdaman. Kaibigan lamg talaga ang turing niya dito. He's gorgeous, maybe she waa at the very least, attracted but after 'that' might, she realized that wasn't enough. She's still not in love with him. She still can't imagine being committed to him, not in the next years, not wver.
But he's a good guy and she'd hate to lose a dear friend just because they were stressed and careless that one night. Hindi pa ba malinaw kay Matt na pinagsisisihan niya ang namgyari? Na walang point para pag-usapan nila iyon?

Nabuga siya ng hangin. Bumilis ang lakad niya, hindi na siya makahintay na makauwi. "I'm sorry, Matt. I'm really tired, not in the mood, and quite a bitch right now," napailing siya. "Tomorrow, maybe? Sunday night?"

Nalaglag ang mga balikat nito. "I'm driving to Morgan tomorrow because my aunts and cousins are visiting. I was planning to invite you but I know you'd rather stay home during weekends,"

"Well, yes. Let's just see each other next week, okay?" tinapik niya ito sa braso.

Marahang tumango ito. "You're ready to talk then, Jake?"

Tinitigan niya ito. "About what?"

"You know exactly what I've wanted us to talk about, Jake. You've just been avoiding the is --"

"Or maybe I didn't think it was important?" tumaas ang isang kilay niya. "Fine, let's talk about it now. I regrwtted it. It probably felt good at that time but I realized as soon as I woke up that it's not something I really wanted."

Matt looked incredulous. "But I was your first!"

"So? It was just a filmsy piece of skin. I'm over it, and you should be, too. It won't happen again,"

Five months ago, after the conclusion of a highly stressful operation where they captured a serial murderer, they headed to his apartment at almost midnight to drink.

Pero nang magkatinginan sila matapos ang tig-isang baso ng alak ay nabago na ang plano nila. Pareho pa silang shocked, pagod at hindi makapagsalita, pero alam na kailangan nila ng release. Alcohol baeely did anything, but they found out soon as they kissed that they wanted to take each other's clothes off. They had frantic, rough sex on his couch and fell asleep almost as soon as they've calmed their breathing after an intense climax. When she woke up several hours later, she was horrified. Mabilis siyang nagbihis at nag-drive na paalis.

"I-I... how could you... " Matt clearly didn't anticipate her words. She felt sorry for him but he had to know, so he can just move on. "Was that why you left so early?"

Tumango siya. "Yes, but I didn't go home yet. I drove around while I tried to clear my head. Then, I went into this drugstore and bought a pack of pills. The emergency contraceptive ones? I washed them down with a large Moroccan Mint blend from Coffee Bean. Those pilla sent me to hormone spikes the whole day so I just stayed home."

He swallowed. "I see... You didn't even want a child with me."

"I didn't want a child yet. Period. And we're friends, Matt. That's all we could ever be. I'm not in love. Apart from the regret, that night didn't change anything. I'm sorry it took me awhile to tell you these but I thought you'd have figured it out."

Malungkot na ngumiti ang lalaki. "I figured it out. I was just in denial. And I kind of hoped...." he sighed. "I'm sorry,"

"I'm sorry, too," I'm sorry that I'm not 'that' sorry. God, when did I become this cold? Hinawakan niya sa braso ang kaibigan. "I really should go. You take care later, okay?"

Tumango lang ito, malungkot pa rin ang mga mata. Nauna na uli siyang naglakad papunta sa sasakyan, pero nakakailang hakbang pa lang ay isa-isa nang nawala ang mga ilaw hanggang sa tuluyang dumilim at wala na siyang makita. "What the..." nilingon niya si Matt. "Are you there? What's going on?"

Pero wala talaga siyang makita. Sa halip ma boses ni Matt ay sunud-sunod na putok ng baril ang narinig niya. Agad siyang kinabahan, natakot. "Matt? Where are you?"

More gun shots. Then silence. Then the sound of something... Or someone falling and hitting the ground. A faint voice calling her name. But she can't see anything.

Tumakbo siya at patuloy na tinawag si Matt pero parang walang katapusan ang kadiliman. Parang may humaharang sa dinadaanan niya at hinawi niya iyon ng mga kamay. Nangangalay na amg binti niya pero patuloy siya sa pagtakbo. Parang mauubusan na siya ng hininga pero hindi siya humihinto...

Namamaos na siya, parang mauubusan na ng hangin, pumipintig na rin ang sentido niya at anumang sandali ay babagsak siya sa pagod pero tuloy lang...

Hanggang sa may humawak sa magkabila niyang braso. Alam niyang hindi iyon si Matt pero bakit pamilyar ang pakiramdam? Nagpumiglas siya, sumipa pero hindi ito bumitaw.

"Jake, wake up, you're okay. You're here now. Shhh. Jake, please..."

The voice was soothing, and worried. Nasaan na siya? Sino 'yon? Para siyang nahuhulog sa kung saan at humanap siya ng makakapitan. Muli ay ang mga brasong iyon ang humawak sa kanya. "Jake..."

Noon siya napadilat,at nakitang malapit na malapit ang mukha ni Jessiah na nakatunghay sa kanya. Nakakapit siya sa balikat at braso nito habang halos yakap siya ng doktor, na nag-aalalang nakatitig sa kanya.

"You've been sleepwalking, Jake. Malapit ka na sa hagdan nang lumabas ako ng kuwarto. I had to stop you. Your arms were outstretched as if you're reaching for something... I had to hold you... Are you hurt?"

Minasdan niya ito, kumakabog pa din ang dibdib habang unti-unti nang nagre-register kung nassan siya. Sleepwalking? Again? The last and only time it happened, she bumped into the wall across her room. Walang ibang nakaalam at hindi na rin niya sinabi kahit kanino. That was over a year ago, when she thought the nightmares brought by her guilt over Matt's death was over.

It wasn't over. Maaaring dumalang ang mga masasamang panaginip niya pero halos hindi na bumalik sa normal ang tulog niya.