𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔, [nishinoya yuu x reader]

𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝟷𝟿

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 of all time – at this point you weren't sure whether or not you're a first-year or a second-year. It's somewhere between the months of February and March.

But at this moment in time, Nishinoya was currently walking beside you. He had actually approached you for the first time in a while. "I'm really sorry, [last name]. I... don't really get the chance to talk to you anymore. I never meant–"

"It's okay, really. You have your own life with volleyball and I don't. It's fine if you forget about me once in a while."

He was always true to his words – he never meant to distance himself from you, it was just the club... Nishinoya stopped himself from making any for excuses. The boy was frustrated; you looked more emotionally and mentally distant from him and the world itself.

What were his efforts worth? He asked himself. Was he even worth your time? Or perhaps, were you worth his time? Were you going to become happier if he attempts to solve your problems? He remembered that you had told him that you were going to solve your own problem after the incident, but he hasn't seen any progress.

What he could see, was that you were drowning in your own inescapable sorrows.

"Hey, let's go." Nishinoya then roughly grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the park all the way from school. You were afraid – not that he'd do anything to you, but by how determined he looked.

By the time you arrived, it was already relatively already dark due to the change in season; he threw both of your bags onto the ground and reached out to grab your shoulders.

"N-Nishinoya... What's wrong?" You winced after feeling his nails through your uniform.

"Do you know what I wished for back then?" He asked in a shaky tone, tears welling up in his eyes. His shoulders were shaking as his grip became tighter. He never wanted to let you go.

"No... I don't."

"Back when I saved you at the ski trip I said it out loud and you woke up. So I want to say it again..." Nishinoya finally let his tears run as he smiled his biggest smile – it was a new feeling. Never in your life of knowing him, had you seen the boy smile this bright. "I wished to stay with you for the rest of our school years!"

It was as if a gust of wind had been thrown into your face. All of these feelings he was expressing warmed your heart – your nose was beginning to feel tingly and you realised that you forgot to swallow your saliva. "...Thank you."

The boy in front of you was crying harder than a fountain. What was wrong with him? You thought. Why did he suddenly come out and declare his wish to you? Didn't he know that once you tell someone, the wish doesn't come true?

It was all too sudden – this made you feel something for the first time in a while. Nishinoya must have been bottling up all his emotions he felt for you up until this point. It must've been out of pity; he felt sorry that you were sad, even though it wasn't his fault.

A gush of bugs once again filled your stomach – they were back again after two years. You recalled a conversation with your good friend Iwaizumi about the insects, he responded with, "You must like someone. Sorry, I can't catch those bugs for you. After all, you've already caught them."

You were caught off guard when you heard that. You, of all people, falling in love? Catching feelings? That's absurd. You reminisced when these feelings first made their appearance, it was right when he saw you when you woke up at the snow trip. That was back in middle school.

However, that memory was then taken over by the feeling of regret and disgust. It was a problem – why did you always think of Harue when you thought of middle school? It bothered you incredibly.

Maybe it was because you never got to hear her play her favourite piece by Chopin. After all, you were still waiting. It was a mystery as to why waltz in c minor was her favourite piece – but you figured it out a few months ago when you were listening to it on a loop.

You finally understood what she meant by 'peaks' all those years ago. It was something you were going to demonstrate soon. These heavy emotions were weighing you down; strapping you down to your regrets.

It was your goal to get rid of those regrets; no matter the method taken.

。。。

After leaving the park you headed straight home – should you even call it that? You didn't at all belong to this place anymore. It brought back memories you hoped to cherish until you turned the old age of 90.

It was where you first received your journal.

It was where your dad raised you.

It was a place you've lived for your entire life.

You plugged in a speaker and played the Chopin piece on a low volume. It peacefully played in the background as you recalled all your memories with Harue. Looking back in your journal, the last entry was back in March of last year.

In the entries, you had all the chances in the world to help the girl. She never talked about her own life often – but when she did, she became frighted. Maybe it was her wish to pass on this early? Mei just enabled it. Why was it that you were being so self-centred? Had you always been like this?

You continued to look through the book, realising that you had often written about Nishinoya. You wanted to see him once again – so badly. So desperately that your throat burned at the thought of him; but you realised that you were choking on your incoming tears.

Nishinoya played an important role in your life.

He was the only star to your sky. He illuminated everything for you. After you disappeared, it seemed his light had as well. After all, a star cannot exist without its sky.

It explained your relationship clearly.

The wind from your slightly opened balcony window blew on your blue-lined pages. You stepped away from your desk towards the balcony, opening the doors wider. There wasn't a good view – it was just the neighbouring house wall. No window, no trees, no nothing. It was just a wall.

For the first time in a while, you let out wails; you let out tears; you released your feelings. Your true feelings – the ones that you had been hiding for so, so long. You had just erupted into a mess of complicated emotions.

This window opened your iron curtains. You were now displaying all your vulnerabilities out to the world on your balcony.

Carefully, using some momentum you climbed up onto the railings. You felt a slight pain when the soles of your feet made contact with the flat failings. The dark sky illuminated upon your figure, was the universe itself trying to say that your life was as dark as this?

Your head slowly dropped to look below you; it was a two-story drop – it wouldn't kill you instantly. You would probably experience a slow and painful death after plummeting onto the concrete below.

"Stars... if you're listening... My one and only wish... and I won't ever change it again. I just want to see Nishinoya again."

Gravity then played its role.