Hard To Say GoodBye

PLEASE HOLD ME PART II

Jin held Taehyungie's hand to make him listen to him.

JIN: Please listen to me taehyungi. I know you are hurt but what you saw back then, it wasn't like that. I never forgot my promise to you. I was there for some reason. You remember our kiss, the night I got drunk and you carried me home. (Tae nodded). Not even for once, I forgot about that. It was the only thing I thought of afterwards and then in the morning when you said we will be okay. I couldn't help but have that strange feeling in my heart.

You clouded my thoughts for months. Every time you would touch me, a shiver would run through my whole body. I would damn stare at you and you won't even notice. when the whole damn group noticed. (Tae chuckled). You remembered the day in practice you asked why am I staring at you, if there is something on your face. Seriously, you had the audacity to ask so innocently. While I was staring at you and Yoongi told me I was eye fucking you.

V: (blushed) Hyunggg!!!

JIN: Sorry. (caressing his cheek). So I was confused if I was feeling all those because I love you or because I just wanted a sexual interaction with you (Tae's eye widened). I wanted to know this because I had made you wait so long. Then Ken get to know about this and he said to me if I loved you I wouldn't feel anything by kissing him. But if it is sexual attraction, it will definitely be. I wanted to know the answers but I was also hesitant to do that.

So Ken just pulled me closer and made him kiss. that's when you saw. But when I kissed him, I felt nothing not even your kiss. But the only thing I felt in that moment was how you held me with so much love, how you kissed me to show how deep your love is. And in that moment I felt that I loved you always and I just confused everything by just saying friendship.

V: Hyung!! (teary eyed)

JIN: I know, it was the worst way but I wanted to know. I was dying inside. I had held you back for so long and I just didn't wanted to hold you back any longer. Maybe I hadn't thought of it more even after kissing if....

V: If.... (stepping closer)

JIN: When you became the part of official dance line, I felt happy really happy but I couldn't help the thought rising in my head. As if I will lose you. As if the distance between us will increase.

V: How could you say that? Tae knows where this talk is going. He knows about his hyung's insecure thoughts about his abilities and Tae always tell him that how much he is loved.

JIN: You are the best singer I know, everyone loves you, you just go on stage and people go crazy, your visuals are angelic, now you are part of official dance line, You are perfect taehyungie and I...I am....

V: Don't dare hyung to complete it. No one is perfect hyung not even me and how could you say that you are not perfect. Then just look yourself from my eyes hyung. You'll know how perfect you are. (clutching his shirt)

JIN: So I just did. I love you. I got hurt when you said you lost the bracelet and I felt hurt that how could you lose it. It was a promise. But then I found out that you knew about the Kiss. I swear taehyungie, I never thought of Ken or anyone in that way since I gave you that bracelet because I really wanted to know these feelings. (caressing his cheek)

V: I...

JIN: But you let me go. you waited so long taehyungie then why you let me go without asking why I did it. You knew hyung better than anyone then why? (crying)

V: I couldn't remove that sight from my eyes. (tears stream down from his cheek)

JIN: W-What?

V: Your Kiss with Ken. I tried Hyung to reason myself hyung but I couldn't. That sight wasn't going away. The moment I close my eyes, it was there. it was killing me hyung. You did it to know answers but I can't forget it hyung. I can't. I tried to but I couldn't.

JIN: I am sorry. I am really .(touching foreheads)

V: So I let go hyung. I waited years for you but when I saw you there, I lost my hope hyung. I lost myself somewhere hyung in between this. I am trying to find myself hyung. By loving you for years I lost myself somewhere hyung and I needed to find myself.

JIN: Then Let me wait.

V: H-Hyung?

JIN: Let me wait for you till you find yourself taehyungie. I am not forcing. I'm not asking you to forgive me but let me wait.

V: What if I never able to get that sight out of my head? What if I can't get the answers?

JIN: I'll wait my whole life for you.

Jin said as he stared in his eyes. Tae closed his eyes and tilted his head a little. Jin closed the gap and kissed him on lips. Their hands intertwined with each other. Jin pulled him closer not breaking the kiss making taehyung's hands wrapped around his waist. his own hands caressed Taehyung's shoulder. They break the kiss shortly, smiling.

2 days before they had to leave for Malta, the news of Tae's grandfather passing broke all of them. They all hoped that he will be able to make it but sadly he didn't. All of them knew what Tae's grandfather meant for him. The boy had lost his so much in his life in such young age, sometime they all wondered what gave him strength to bear all of the pain. Their manager booked his ticket for the night. They left the decision to join the boys in Malta to him. Jin hugged him till he cried his heart out. All the boys were sitting close to him. They knew that they both share something beautiful and now they share the pain too. They can't help but adore those two. All of them hugged in a group. Before Taehyungie could leave, Jin whispered in his ear.

I love you and I'll be waiting for you. Hyung is always here for you. Take care of yourself for me.

Jin stood in the hallway until his car was out of sight. A tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered.

I'll be waiting. I'm not giving up on you Taehyungie.