Hard To Say GoodBye

PLEASE HOLD ME PART I

Jin stared at the ceiling of his room. It had been a week since he came to his home for funereal. His mind was blank, there was nothing in his mind and his heart was breaking by each second. Sometimes it would be a memory of his grandma, sometimes it will be taehyungie's. And he felt so useless in that moment. He couldn't withstand the pain but there was nothing he could do. He got the call from manager earlier that they are going to start the Bon Voyage Season 3 and if he could film the behind the scenes of his packing.

He said Yes and that was the only distraction he had now. Their fans whom he loved so much. The thought of making the show made him happy also it gave him a hope to heal himsef and get his life back together. He was laying when his phone flashed. He picked to see a notification of Vlive. the boys started V live. He picked the phone and watched it. He was missing them. He smiled seeing all the faces but his eyes got stuck on one particular person.

Taehyungie! He muttered under his breathe.

He had known all the boys for so long that he can find out who's feelings what just by looking. But taehyungie, he knows him more than others. He knows when he is feeling what. His eyes, the most beautiful feature of him, other than his smile, can express his heart. Only the one who truly loves him can know what his taehyungie is going through. He knows how the other boys are trying to make him talk because he is the one most affected by his absence.

No matter how much they had trouble but the care and love in taehungie's never dies for him. And this is what makes Jin more weak that he is the one who broke him. The live ends not before taehyungie shows heart. A sign that he loves him and is with him all the time. He lost his grandma but he isn't going to let Tae go. He isn't gonna give up.

He came back 5 days before they had to leave. He wanted to talk to Tae but he couldn't as the boy was going through hard time. His grandfather was ill and Jin was shocked to hear because he didn't knew. He only found out once he came back and he asked the boys why they didn't told them. They said that Tae asked them not to tell him as he himself was going through a lot. He wished that his grandfather would get healthy soon, as he knew how much love taehyungie has for his grandparents. After losing his grandma 2 years back, Tae was capable to overcome the pain, though it never vanishes, only because he had his grandpa with him who reminded him off their happy times.

They drank that night and found that they were going to malta. Even though Taehyungie was going through some hard time, he made himself happy for the fans. No one can see that the boy was going through hard time and it ached Jin's heart. The boy had gone through so much that Jin only wished to protect him from all the pain in the world. His heart was so pure and he loved everyone without any reward. And Jin regretted that once he was the reason of his happiness but now he is the one that gave him pain.

After they finished their dinner and went back to home. Jin wanted to talk to Tae. He knew it was not a good time but the ache in his heart was too strong to hold there. So once everyone, went to their rooms, Jin made his way to Tae's room. He was happy when the door was unlocked.

V: Hyung What are you doing here?

JIN: We need to talkkkkk. (definitely drunk)

V: Do you need something?

JIN: Yes I need to know the answer.

V: What?

JIN: Why are you like this? How could you be like this?

V: What are you saying? (holding him by his waist)

JIN: Why didn't you shouted on me? Why didn't you got angry with me? How could you be so good Voo?

V: Hyung!! Please you are drunk. You need to go and rest.

JIN: No I don't need to rest. Let me say it because I won't say it when I am sober.

V: Why?

JIN: Bec-Because your eyes....Whenever, I gather courage to tell you the truth. Your eyes flashes that sadness and it hurts.

V: It hurts even more to bear it.