Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.
"How did that happen?" asks the first guy.
"Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot."
"Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
A bear was taking a dump in the forest when a rabbit walked by. The bear said, "Hey rabbit, does poo stick to your fur?"
"No," replied the rabbit.
The bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.
