A Song Of Light and Darkness - Book One: Dawn Of New Force

Chapter 30: A Sudden Turn

Ben was the first to wake up. The coolness of the morning and the light that shone through the leaves roused him from his sleep.

He felt the cold prickle at his skin, and instinctively dove his shoulders down beneath the cloak that had fallen somewhere to their chests during the night. And then his numb arms felt Rey's presence hugged between them, and his mind sharpened, bringing back all the memories from that night of splendor as his face was buried in her hair, their legs entangled.

Her back was flush against his chest, and he hugged her tighter to shield her from the cold. Ben closed his eyes and inhaled her scent and his lips pressed against her shoulder.

But he did not want to wake her up. Not yet. And not when he could feel her stir, snuggling in his arms for warmth as a shiver passed down her spine. Not when his moments were counted.

His palm that was placed on her stomach right beneath her breasts pressed her against him, then slid up to her shoulder, and finally to her face. She whimpered softly before his lips nuzzled her jaw, clearly lost to a different world.

What are you dreaming of, my sweet love? He wanted to ask her. But he had made sure the bond was closed, not to wake her up by any chance. She needed that sleep now more than ever. She needed to clung to that dream that stirred her, if it was a good one. And he knew it was. He knew what it was, as her mouth stretched in small smile when his lips touched her skin.

He felt like he was now holding his galaxy, everything he had always fought for, even when he had no idea about it, even when he was seeking power. This part of his life was fulfilled, the love that had always missed from his heart. And his forgiveness was a bit more filled of that void in his soul. But to fully forgive himself, it was too late.

Slowly, he propped himself on one elbow and taking the cloak off his chest, bundled Rey in it, before placing a loving kiss on her temple.

As his hand groped for his pants thrown in the grass, the dew drops that grazed his skin made him shiver. He stood up, dressed, and reached down in the heap of clothes for his tunic and belt.

But right when he was done buckling the belt, the dew that had seeped into the fabric began to take its toll. His mind told him to go and gently wake Rey up from her sleep. But he was not ready, not yet.

His gaze remained trained in the distance, amidst the ancestral trees of the planet. His redemption was not here, he knew it. It lay in the middle of the war, alongside the resistance his mother had built. In the fight to stop the darkness he had started.

The wind stirred a lock of hair against his cheek, and he sighed heavily, the weight of the day suddenly much bigger than it had appeared earlier. Where was the joy he had felt at the touch of Rey in his arms, at the memory of their night? He was aware it had passed. And that it would never come back, no living something like this again. And that there was nothing he could do to change his fate, no running away.

He turned, and his once again sad gaze fell on the girl that slept peacefully in the bundle he had made for her. What would his last words to her be? He had no idea... Not in a million years could he tell everything that she was to him. More than his dyad in the force, more than his soul mate, more than his lover...

Slowly, he paced to the cloak that held for blanket and crouched next to Rey. At first he had meant to gently shake her shoulder. But he found himself easing on his back, wrapping his arms about her protectively, hugging her to his chest. And he knew she was waking up. And he wanted to do something to stop it, wanted to drift himself back in a sleep next to her and inhale her scent and forget about the world.

Rey
She felt his breath was warm against the back of her head as he dreamt. Or he did not? No, he was awake, she knew that in the numbness the morning brought with it. She had felt his warmth leave her at some moment, before it came back against her.