Annalise Writes

Chapter 5

Despite my witty, irreverent comment, it felt as though I hadn't even spoken. My boys continued to play tug-of-war over Kyra's affections while my roommate stood between them with a dumb, dazed smile on her face.

Lord Maxwell jabbed a clawed forefinger in Jaxon's face. "Unhand my Elizabeth, you ink-covered flapdoodle!"

Jaxon cocked an eyebrow. He made zero effort to remove his arm from Kyra. "What the fuck is a 'flapdoodle?'"

"It is a sexually incompent man," Lord Maxwell supplied as he shot a smug look in Kyra's direction, "which, I assure you, my darling Elizabeth, I am most certainly not."

The vampire winked. My roommate gasped and swooned. I rolled my eyes.

In response to his rival's insult, Jaxon sidled up even closer to Kyra and murmured in a low, husky voice, "Babygirl, don't listen to that bloodsucker. For the record, I can make you see stars and fly you to the moon. Annalise gave me ten inch—"

My eyes widened in alarm.

Oh, God!

No, no, no!

Don't say it, Jaxon!

"SUB!" I interjected frantically. "I gave Jax a ten inch sub in chapter five because he sure does love those motherfucking sandwiches!"

"And, for the record," I pressed on in a desperate attempt to change the subject, "the girl you're fighting over isn't Cate or Elizabeth. Her name is Kyra, and she's my roommate. You two need to settle down and take a cold shower or something."

Jaxon protested, "I don't really like sandwiches."

Kyra chose to pipe up at this time, "I don't really mind if either of you boys call me 'Cate' or 'Elizabeth.'"

I tossed her a dirty look. She ignored me.

"What are you talking about, babygirl?" Jaxon glanced down at my roommate and studied her closely, "You're clearly Cate! You think I don't recognize the nerdiest girl on campus?"

"Where are her glasses, then?" I challenged.

This caught Jaxon off guard. Then, something seemed to click in his brain. His eyes narrowed in triumph.

"Cate said that she would never wear glasses again, remember? She did it for me."

"That I did, that I did," Kyra echoed agreeably.

I cast her an evil eye. My roommate ignored me again.

Lord Maxwell snorted at Jaxon. "Ha! You may call her 'Cate' all you like, but I know, for a fact, that she is the reincarnation of my ethereal, effervescent Elizabeth. I do not care whether this angel's name is Elizabeth or Cate or Kyra—for me, it is her shining, shimmering, splendid soul that I am utterly and hopelessly in love with!"

He gazed at Kyra forlornly. "Let it be known, my darling, that I, too, am in possession of a ten inch—"

"QUILL!" I screeched with a bright red flush that could've stopped traffic. "You are in possession of a ten inch quill because you have so many goddamn letters to write!"

Lord Maxwell furrowed his brow. "Annalise, why am I not aware of these pen pals you speak of..."

I threw my hands into the air with a frustrated groan. There was no getting through to these thickheaded numbskulls I created.

I turned to Kyra with my hands on my hips. "Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?"

Kyra had the audacity to smirk at me. "Very. I'm very happy right now."

My roommate proceeded to loop her arms around each of my boys' perfectly tapered waists. She started guiding Lord Maxwell and Jaxon to her room. They clung to her like lovesick puppies without one iota of self respect or dignity.

With a flippant glance over her shoulder, Kyra cooed, "You can go, Annalise. I think I got this covered."

My hands balled into little fists at my sides.

Rude! My roommate was so effing rude!

I gave Kyra the middle finger behind her back and then shuffled away to my room in a halfway confused, halfway irritated mood.

What the heck was I supposed to do now?