The Real You || Jung Sungchan

Chapter 5

Miyoung:

[WARNING! This chapter includes: school violence, bullying (physical, emotional, and mental), and suicide. Please skip this chapter if you are triggered by that. Read at your own risk! If you're skipping this chapter, the only thing you need to know is that Miyoung was bullied.]

There are many reasons why I have a hard time making friends and trusting people. However, the main reason is my bullying scandal back in middle school. My whole experience in middle school was terrible, but this scandal near the end of the first semester of 9th grade is something that I will never ever forget. I promised myself that I will learn from this experience, and I learned to not trust people so easily and basically to not have friends.

From 1st grade to middle school, I was best friends with Jeon Seoryeong. She was the first person I met in 1st grade. I remember the exact moment we met like it was yesterday. It was our first day of school and I had just moved from Jinju to Daegu, so I knew nobody. A lot of people in my class already had friends that were their neighbors or were family friends. So, I sat alone on the playground and at lunch. I had imaginary friends and every time I had to do partner work with someone, I couldn't find anyone and ended up always being with the teacher. One day, a guy classmate purposely threw a ball at my back which caused me to fall down and scrape my elbow. I wanted to defend myself but his group of friends laughed at me as I was on the floor crying. I was nonstop crying until they all stopped laughing. Confused, I looked up and saw Seoryeong holding the same ball they hit me with and aiming it at them, making them scared.

"If you laugh at her one more time, I'm going to hit you twice as hard."

When she said that to them, they ran away immediately. Seoryeong turned to me and helped me up. She asked me if I wanted to go to the nurse and I nodded. This was the first interaction I made with someone in my class since school had started, and this was in the middle of the year. I thought that she would leave me after she took me to the nurse, but she surprisingly stayed. This was the first time I've smiled in a long time, and she smiled back at me.

"What's your name?"

"Miyoung."

"That's a pretty name. I'm Seoryeong."

The rest was history. After that, she started hanging out with me more and more and she even promised me that she'll stay by my side forever. As we grew up, we kept that promise and we knew everything about each other. Any good or bad news we get, we were the first to tell each other. She was my only friend for a long time, and she treated me like I was her own sister, which made me feel happy since she had no siblings while I had a younger brother.

It all went downhill in 9th grade though. It was our last year of middle school and I was so excited to go to the same high school next year with Seoryeong. We were doing fine for some of the first semester, but in the last couple of months, she stopped talking to me and she ignored me, leaving me alone by myself everyday at lunch and after school. I remember seeing her hang out with the more popular girls and my heart breaking. It hurt me so much to see my first and only friend leaving me behind to befriend someone else. Of course, I could try to befriend them too, but the way Seoryeong looked at me made me realize that she never wants to talk to me again. I never knew the reason until one day.

May 22

It was my birthday and I was so happy when Seoryeong texted me, telling me that she threw a surprise birthday party for me. The second I saw that text, I knew that it was all in my head and that she wasn't ignoring me but instead, she was just planning this surprise party with the popular girls. But something in the back of my head told me not to go. I pushed it off and went anyways, not expecting anything at all. I knew that she would throw a party with purple decorations, flowers, and jellies since she knows that's what I love most. However, I was surprised when she sent me an address to the school. I shrugged it off and met her and the girls at the back of the school.

"Happy birthday, Miyoung." She said to me, I smiled and tried to hug her but she pushed me on the ground.

"Hopefully this is your last." She laughs, getting on top of me and punching me. The girls around us were laughing and taking pictures as she beat me until I was unconscious.

The next day, I woke up and I was in the hospital. Apparently, the janitor found me on the floor after Seoryeong beat me up and called an ambulance. My family was surrounding my bed and started crying the second I woke up. I was confused, the last thing I remembered was Seoryeong pushing me on the ground and my vision going black. I could never forget the look on my parents and brother's face when I woke up. My parents started crying and my brother looked like he was about to faint. When I got back home and checked the school gossip website, everyone was telling me that I should leave the school and die. I was shocked and confused, but then I looked at what Seoryeong was saying.

𝗝𝗲𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗼 𝗥𝘆𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 | 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝟵

𝐘𝐨𝐨 𝐌𝐢 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐢 𝐖𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚒 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚎. 𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎. 𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙹𝚒 𝚆𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚢. 𝙼𝚒 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙹𝚒 𝚆𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢, 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎. 𝙹𝚒 𝚆𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚈𝚘𝚘 𝙼𝚒 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐'𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚞𝚕𝚝. 𝙶𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝙼𝚒 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐! 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞!

My heart dropped and my tears wouldn't stop falling. I cried and cried, staring at the computer screen. The next day of school, I was surrounded by whispers, calling me a wrench and a bully, and saying that I should just leave the school and the Earth for being such a horrible person. I couldn't say anything, but the scandal was completely false. I was surprised at how many people believed Seoryeong and her lies. We had no classmate named Park Jiwon and the only person I talked to in all my years of middle school was Seoryeong. Why did she accuse me of this? How could she do that? And how could the class believe her with no evidence?

Time went by and I was getting physically bullied after school by Seoryeong and her friends. It was so bad that I dropped out of school before the second semester started. My brother and I started homeschooling while my parents were trying to make enough money to move us somewhere else. I didn't leave my house for months until my parents told me we're moving to Seoul. They knew about the whole thing and made sure that nobody knew where we were going and our new address.

And that's the reason why I can't trust anybody anymore. My best friend, who defended me when I first got bullied, ended up bullying me for no reason. After the whole thing, I stopped talking to anyone and I only cared about one person.

Myself.

.