Partners in crime (Ryujin x female reader)

[Chapter 15] A mess

I failed updating as fast as i could because of my fever.
So here's a long chapter for you enjoy reading! (2400 words😔✊🏻)

Yuna's POV
Group chat
Y/n: Whatttttt? Why? Please be back before my birthday. I wanna celebrate it with you.

Me: Hey hey! Chill i'll be back at your birthday okay? I just want to have some time with my self.

Ryujin: You've really grown. Making your own decisions now huh, i'm proud.

Yeji: We'll miss you though.

Me: It won't even last for a month, it's just 3 days unnies. 3 days left before y/n's birthday right? A vacation is not that bad.

Chaeryeong: Bet Lia's already crying.

Lia: I'm not crying!

Me: Okay okay then just don't worry too much. I can handle myself. I'm here now so i gotta go. Take care!

I closed my phone and stared outside the window of the bus. I knew they will not let me leave so i left as early as possible. I keep on thinking that i don't like y/n, it just happens that she's really kind that's why i am attached so i decided to distance myself for a while. I don't wanna let my feelings destroy me this time. But no matter how hard i try, i just can't be convinced. My feelings for Y/n grew so much, too bad i don't even have someone whom i can share my emotions with.

The cold breeze brushed my hair as i left the vehicle. At last i'm alone. I entered the small cabin and headed on the balcony where you can see the beach. Thoughts are running around my head, love is just another word for despair and despair is just another word for life. When you live you will love and get hurt too. So i guess it's normal that i'm hurting right now, i know that Ryujin unnie likes y/n and i can also see that y/n likes Ryujin unnie but i can't control my feelings. Instead, i held on that little hope that she'll like me back.

But that little hope is just another word for a dream, it will remain as a dream, and just a dream. And having that really makes me happy, if that's just a dream then i would not choose to wake up. Why do things that would make you happy stays in your dreams? Why is reality always sad and depressing? Why breathe if you're gonna die anyways? Hopefulness exists because of our imaginations about the possible outcome resulting us to try and try until we die. Sometimes it works but sometimes it don't. It is the matter of luck i guess.

My own thoughts and feelings are suffocating me, it's been a long day so i decided to get some rest and head to the bathroom before taking a nap. At least here i can cry all i want and i can be myself. I do not have to pretend that i am happy although it hurts my heart to even smile. I'm so stupid for liking y/n, i shouldn't have let my feelings grow and become a beast inside me. I know i'm a no match for Ryujin unnie.

Although it hurts, i'll just admit it to myself. You fell pretty hard for her Yuna and there's no turning back. I don't have regrets but i would maybe just either die after crying in front of her because of my unrequited love or die without letting her know that i love her. Or the last choice, continue loving her because she deserves it. I'm the one who's going to suffer anyways so it's better than seeing her experiencing the pain like a maniac. I'll just think that this agony would end and tomorrow will be another day.

Yep another day of loving y/n like crazy.

(Time skip)

Your POV

6:15am

Who knows what to do in this kind of situation? Someone please help me. Ryujin's been acting like nothing happened that night yet i'm here thinking how our eyes met and how sincere her stare was. I almost gave in and actually kissed her, i almost lost my lips' chastity. Gosh, i hate this. Whenever it comes to her, my mind would always go boom splashhh woooshhh maybe now's the time to admit to myself that i like her.