Holden Steele's Ruin [Completed]

Chapter 1

My eyes jerked open, a sheen of cold sweat covering my forehead, whilst my hands shook uncontrollably. I flickered my eyes around the room, subconsciously searching for the burning car that held my brother captive. It wasn't there, instead, I was met with the unchanging pink walls of my room. A sadistic part of me wanted it to be there; maybe then, I would feel closer to Blake again.

Sunlight poured in through the window beside me, washing away the vestiges of my horror, leaving me to return to my mundane existence. I willed my breathing to go back to normal, implementing a breathing technique I had recently learnt.

I sighed loudly, sliding out of my bed and heading towards the bathroom. The nightmare wasn't anything peculiar, I had grown accustomed to it, and now it was almost like a norm.

"Savannah!"

My mother yelled as the loud clattering of pans rang through the house. I dried myself off before donning light skinny jeans and a peach blouse, leaving my hair to hang loosely on my back. I appraised myself in the mirror, deeming my efforts worthy for the day.

"Morning mum." I murmured as I entered the kitchen, quickly spotting her familiar head of cropped blond hair. Her petit frame stood in front of the stove, wrist twitching as she expertly flipped the pancakes.

"Morning sweety," she said over her shoulder.

I made a beeline for the coffee maker, needing the caffeine to ease my throbbing head. The coffee immediately reduced the pounding into a dull ache, making me release a sigh as I took a seat in front of the plate my mum had served.

"Are you having those nightmares again?" She asked lowly, catching me off guard. I opened my mouth slightly, quickly formulating a lie, when she spoke up again "Don't lie to me, I heard you scream." sadness filled her eyes, and I hated that I was the cause of it.

"It was nothing, it's probably the nerves from being away from home." I shrugged nonchalantly.

The prospect of being away from home, away from the memory of my brother, scared me. I craved familiarity, I didn't like the unknown. So, leaving home to a foreign place had my nerves skyrocketing.

"Okay, but if they get worse you could always call Dr Jones. You haven't been to her office in over three month." I winced subconsciously at that.

I had no desire of seating in a boxlike room, surrounded by potted plants as I recited my most horrid memories to a beady-eyed lady. It wasn't that she wasn't good at her job; in fact, she was too good. Her eyes, a crystal shade of hazel, scared me the most. When she stared at me, I felt naked. Like she had stripped me of my defence, and that she could see inside my head. It drove me crazy.

Furthermore, I didn't want to become a financial strain to my mother. The therapists were expensive, and she was already taking enough shifts at the hospital to pay the bills.

"Are you all packed?" She quipped after we were both done with our breakfast. I simply nodded, treading up the stairs to retrieve my boxes.

I was leaving to attend university, today being the arrival date. Though nervous and slightly hesitant, I was excited too. I could be just a normal freshman there, no one would view me with pity or speak to me like I was frail glass. I would have the opportunity to live like a normal young adult, well at least as normal as it could get.

"Do you want to visit your brother before you leave?" My mother said as we loaded my few boxes into the car. She knew how important Blake was to me, that I would never leave without telling him goodbye, and I wouldn't.

"I already went to see him yesterday." I answered thickly, I was still not happy about not being able to be close to him. I exhaled, climbing into the passenger seat after my mum before we drove down the monotonous neighborhood.