Holden Steele's Ruin [Completed]

Chapter 27

"I'm sorry" my mother whispered after a few minutes of palpable tension, her eyes remaining firm on the road.

"You were right though, I should know better than to trust blindly" I sighed while watching my reflection on the side mirror ahead of me.

"No, honey. Don't say that, it wasn't your fault. It never has been your fault, okay?" She said sternly.

Why did this suddenly sound like therapy allover again?

"Yeah" I lied through my teeth.

"Was the break in...did something else happen?" She was tumbling over her words, selecting them carefully to make sure they wouldn't offset me.

"Yes" I couldn't keep it from her anymore, she would know eventually.

"What happened?" She asked calmly, I knew she wasn't. Her fingers were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, resulting in her knuckles paling.

"My second week at the university...I-I went to a party and s- someone tried to force themselves on me" I exhaled willing the words out of my mouth "he said a blonde guy sent him...it was Xander, mum" my voice grew heavier with ever word I muttered.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me!" Gone was her calm exterior, her petit frame going rigid. I watched as she directed the car towards the side of the desolate road, turning off the engine before facing me completely.

"Savannah, you can't just keep things like that from me" her voice cracked considerably, increasing the overpowering guilt I felt "everyday I wake up scared...I'm so- so scared I'll lose you, that I won't be able to help you. Please understand I can't lose you too, I already lost your brother" eyes glazed over as a single tear slipped, her finger quickly dusting it off.

"I didn't want to worry you" I whispered while fumbling with my fingers, the guilt gnawing at my heart.

"Your my baby, its my job to worry about you" she said this while resting her hand over mine, lightly squeezing it. We remained silent for a while, my hand in hers. It wasn't uncomfortable like earlier, this time it was serene and conforming.

"Can we...um...can we visit Blake?" I muttered after the minute tricked to two. I had really missed my brother and was in desperate need to talk to him. He was the only one who listened, he never interrupted nor did he look at me with sympathy. He couldn't.

"Sure" she said quietly, her saddened eyes moving back to the road before starting the engine.

Mentioning my brother had brought a suddenness into the car, both my mother and I remaining silent after my request. I watched as she drove down the familiar dirt road, my throat suddenly feeling like sandpaper.

The road was deserted as usual, very few people came to the grave yard. With how crowded the cemetery was, you would think a considerate amount of people would frequent it. They didn't. My eyes swept over the headstones closest to the fence that were buried under large amounts of dried leaves. At one point a loved one probably left flowers on them every week, but now they were forgotten. Many reduced to just a distant memory. I didn't want Blake to be just another nameless headstone forgotten in a crowded grave yard.

"I'll give you some space" my mother muttered as she parked a little further from the steel gate, her downcast eyes firmly fixed at a distant tree.

I gave her a stiff nod, dragging in a deep breath before cracking my door open. My heart felt heavy as I easily made my way through the concrete path. I had come here enough times to know exactly where everything was, the large oak tree had offered my refuge so many times.

On most of my bad days, I would curl up on the tree with my sketch book in hand and just forget.

I sat on my favourite patch of grass in front of Blake, crossing my legs beneath me. Soft crisped wind blew past me, caressing my briefly. I always liked to believe it was him, that it was his way of acknowledging my presence.