Holden Steele's Ruin [Completed]

Chapter 15

I was sweating a puddle on the floor, my lungs constricting against my chest as I held my breath as my heart lurched to my throat when I heard shuffling on the other side of the door. During the time I had been waiting for a response I had considered cowering away, at the moment I really wished I had ran out of the door to the confines of my room when I had the chance.

"What?" Holden's angry voice startled me, if I was nerves before I was goddamn terrified now. I was practically shaking, my eyes clouding over due to the luck of air circulation in my head. I knew he wouldn't want to see me! the annoying voice in my head said. I however drugged in a breath, painfully forcing it through my lungs as I tightly shut my eyes, unsuccessfully trying to compose myself. Prying my eyes open I willed them to meet his deep grey ones. I was surprised to find them softening, his anger fading away but the hardness of his features remained as his full lips spread into a thin line.

"Um...c- could I come in?" I mumbled, stumbling over my words as I redirected my eyes to the tiled floor. He just stood there unmoving as he peered at me, his stare burning every inch they touched. Thinking he might have not heard me I prepared myself to repeat my request but stopped when I noticed him opening the door rather hesitantly. I could still feel his eyes burning holes on the back of my head as I shuffled past his large built into the room, my eyes subconsciously running over the interior.

The last time I had been here I hadn't quite had the chance to taken it in, I was either too disoriented or trying to ran away from him. Now that I had a chance to look around I noticed how clean and organised it was for a collage guy but it was also cold with no personified item, it didn't look like someone lived in it.

His blue walls went well with his brown minimalistic furniture, his queen sized bed was strategically placed at the center of the room, a large window pouring light on to it. His reading desk was at one corner of the room, random books strewn across it as completely stocked built in shelves sat above it.

He had a large dresser that was pushed against one wall, over all the room was clean and neat but very blunt and cold, like his demeanour. The only personal item I could see was a framed picture of a grinning woman, probably around her late thirties. Brown her fell around her shoulder, framing her heart shaped faces some falling into her eyes. Her eyes looked so much like Holden's only the grey in hers seemed livelier as she smiled brightly showcasing her immaculate set of teeth. I couldn't help but notice how tired she looked behind the bright smile though.

A throat being cleared wrenched me out of my deep thoughts, I quickly turned around, my head clashing with a wall of muscles. Strong arms immediately wrapped around my waist aiding in preventing me from tumbling to the ground and giving me a sense of déjà vu. Had I been so consumed inside my head that I didn't even noticed him moving closer to me. My cheeks flared as I shyly met his eyes, the intensity in them was nerve wrenching but this time they didn't look desolate, an emotion I couldn't label flickered in them.

"Um...s- she's very beautiful" I mumbled as I hastily composed myself, creating some distance between us. I had put almost a foot like distance between us but I could still feel the heat of his hands on me. This is why I needed to keep away from him, he wasn't good for my heart.

"Yeah" was his somber response, his face clouded over, a hint of sadness lacing in his eyes.

"I- I came to apologize" I said watching his face for a reaction, it morphed into a blank wall, almost bored. I continued nonetheless wanting to rid my chest of the feeling of guilt.

"How I acted Monday was rude and uncalled for...I'm sorry. Your not a stranger to me, you helped me a lot Friday and I don't want to think of the outcome of the situation if you hadn't stepped in, i- its just that I've been through this before and things only got worse when the police got involved. Holden I don't want people to pity me, I don't want to be the girl everyone feels sorry for again" tears had began welling in my eyes at the memory from two years ago, I tried to hide them from him but it was no use.