Chapter 8

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Avery and I had decided to have a lazy Saturday, ordering chines and binge watching some Netflix in our room. I was honestly barely paying any attention to the movie, my heart thumping loudly between my ears. I watched the clock instead, my shaking hands growing clammy with every minute that went by.

I was extremely nervous at the prospect of Holden coming by. I would be lying if I said the nerves were due to the oncoming talk alone because the mere thought of seeing him again had my heart straining against my rib cage. I would probably be avoiding this conversation more strongly if I didn't want to see Holden so much. This has to stop!

I watched blankly as the credits to the second movie rolled down the screen, my mind still counting the minutes subconsciously. Three consecutive knocks resonated through the room, successfully making my nerves hitch. The hair at the back of my neck stood, my breathing becoming laboured as my fingers trembled more violently.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Avery questioned walking towards the door.

The door revealed a blank faced Holden, answering her earlier question. He stood tall outside the door still dressed in the same clothes he had this morning. While he looked calm and collected, I was a nerves mess, my clammy hands being evidence enough.

Avery craned her head over her shoulder at me, passing me an inconspicuous wink, making my already flushed cheeks turn crimson.

I probably look like a goddamn tomato now.

"Hi Holden, I was actually just leaving" I'm pretty sure she wasn't about to go anywhere, she had changed into her pajamas and vowed not to step foot out of her bed until the next day. She was probably trying to give us space, I had no idea what she thought was going to happen. Avery hastily wrenched the door open, beaming wildly as she let Holden in while grabbing her shoes and walking out to the hallway.

The laid back energy that was earlier in the room quickly disappeared, leaving thick tension in its wake. My emerald eyes slowly took in his lean form still standing by the door, his broad shoulder looked rigid as his steel eyes bore into mine. They drew me in like they always did, I couldn't look away even if I wanted to.

Holden was the first to break the eye contact this time, his towering figure dwarfing the room as he slowly moved towards my desk chair. He stretched his long legs past the chair almost connecting them to the foot of the bed. Some of my art supplies lay strewn haphazardly across my desk and I watched in horror as his eyes flickered over them taking in the few visible sketches I had left lying on the desk.

My art had always been from the heart. I had never felt comfortable with someone else looking at them, they were private, like a small part of my heart melted onto a blank piece of paper. Like right now as Holden let his eyes wonder over my sketches, I felt naked almost like he was seeing the inside of my head, like he was judging my deepest thoughts and it was maddening.

I quickly hoped out of bed before snapping the sketch pad shut, concealing my artwork from him. His eyes immediately rested on mine and for a brief moment I saw an emotion flicker in his cold eyes but it was gone quicker than it came. It was understanding, he knew they were sacred to me and he understood this.

"The guy that attacked you last night, his being held by campus police" he said slowly as he cleared his throat probably worried he would bring back memories from last night "his being held for use of dugs within the campus grounds and they want to know if you'll be placing charges against him" his eyes met mine again as they softened the slightest before he continued.

"I- um- I went to see him after practice. He swears some blonde guy told him to come on to you like that because you were into it" Holden curled his thin artistic fingers into fists, resting them beside him while his jaw clenched and unclenched, his eyes flashing in hot rage.

The moment my brain registered his words my blood ran cold as my lungs constricted painfully. An ominous feeling settled upon me as Holden's words pounced against the walls of my skull. He swears some blonde guy told him to come on to you because you were into that. I knew it was him, it had to be, he was the only person I knew who was vengeful enough to actually do something like that.

I hadn't even noticed how violent I was shaking until when Holden's arms wrapped around me. I sunk further into him wishing I had better luck in life that something would actually go my way for once. For all I knew it might have just been another party goer who thought it might be funny to play a prank on the drank guy who attacked me. However, my brain was programmed to think of the worst possible outcome in every situation.

"I don't want to press charges, I just want it to end" I mumbled into his chest. I had already been through this and I had come out severely burnt, I wouldn't willingly put myself in the same position again. It would probably just look like I was the one teasing him, seeing how little I had on. I looked up at Holden begging him not to put up an argument with me.

"Okay we won't press charges for now" I heard the end of his sentence but choose to ignore it, not having enough energy to protest. Maybe if I just ignore the incident it would be like it never happened, I really pray Holden let's go of it too.

Gradually I calmed down and my sobs had reduced to slight hiccups. Holden's arms dropped from my hair to my back making me wince in pain, I immediately regretted the knee jerk reaction when a confused look took over his face. Before I could protest Holden lifted the hem of the tank top I had changed into, exposing my back. He slightly gasped and I knew he had seen the large bruise I was spotting on my lower back.

"Am going to fucking kill him!" The ferocity in his voice had me flinching, the murderous look in his eyes sending rapid chills down my spine. I immediately pulled my top down concealing my injury as faced my back away from him.

"Its really nothing, it just looks worse than it feels" I was trying to lessen his anger but I was dismayed when he fisted his fingers tighter, his knuckles turning a pale white colour. His piercing grey eyes filled with palpable anger as they sliced through mine, daring me to lie to him again.

"Don't give me that shit, it looks like it fucking hurts!" I recoiled from degree of anger in his deep voice, drawing some distance between us. I could already fill hot wet tears well up in my eyes. Holden's shoulders deflated once he saw my tears his eyes immediately softened while his loosened his defence.

"Fuck I'm sorry, its just he hurt you" he said almost a whisper.

"Its fine, I just want to forget that it ever happened. Please let's not talk about it again" I pleaded not wanting a constant reminder of how weak I am, of how I had been faced by the same situation twice and still come out a vulnerable frail girl.

"Fine, but you have to inform me if anything happens" the seriousness in his eyes rattled me.

How could he be so concerned about a complete stranger, We had barely said two words to each other prior to last night and now he was acting like he was responsible for me. I was confused of weather to fill flattered or angered.

"Okay" I said choosing wisely to keep my mouth shut, hoping he would deem that a good enough answer because I didn't want to make promises I know would undoubtedly break.

Holden left soon after, not before checking on me multiple times before leaving to make sure I was fine and that I wouldn't suddenly burst into teats. I silently sat on my stiff bed fidgeted with the chain around my neck trying to calm my nerves.

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