Two Seouls One Song

Ch 10. #Shinhee - Inseparable friends Final

Cont….

The last test is tomorrow. I am not worried about the test but more worried about Akari's reaction when I am going to confess. I hope she likes it - I am going to take her to the movies and then to the comic book store. I have hidden a letter (with all my feelings written) in the Inuyasha manga and advised the owner to hand out the copy only to her tomorrow. So excited I am going to scream. I am going to stop writing, got to revise for the last test.

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It's been 3 months since that day.

This is going to be my last update on the diary.

I hate myself so much. I still can't forgive myself.The reason I am awake today is only for my parents and grandparents.

 Had I dropped her to her home, she would have been alive. I hate myself for letting her take the cab ride home. I hate myself that she met with an accident that took her away from me. I hate myself that Akira is suffering so much. I hate myself for being the cause for her family's loss. I hate myself for losing her.I hate that her last words to me was "I'll see you tomorrow".I hate you Hayashi Minato.

The diary ends. There are tickets from movie theater and Disneyland stuffed in other pages. I close the diary. My eyes start tearing and it won't stop. My heart sinks for the first time. I did know about Akira's sister and we being family friends had visited her funeral. But I did not know what she was to Minato.I weep quietly looking at the cover again.

Without much thinking I immediately rush to my room and call for a cab and make way to see Minato. When I board the cab I text Ichiko that I'll see her later, not sure if I saw her, I was in a hurry and my eyes were blurry.

I reach his house and knock on the door hoping he is there. I hold the diary close to my heart. The butler tells me that he is in his room and before he continues I run towards his room. I knock on his room door bracing myself. As soon as he opens it I start crying and he hugs me tight. It takes us a while to leave that pose. He hands me tissues and a glass of  water. I give his diary back.

"Shinhee I am sorry I couldn't…." He says and I interrupt him.

"Minato you don't have to, I am sorry I am really sorry. This is the first time I am feeling this emotion. I am angry and sad and I don't know" I tell him as he strokes my hair which is messed up as I didn't even bother to comb.

"Akira always tried talking to me, but his face reminded me of her and what I did to her, I fought with him to leave me alone all the time. He's a nice guy, the best in fact. I am a bad guy. You and Ichiko should be with him not me" Before I respond he continues.

"The whole school knew about the accident. Everyone blamed me for it like I did. I started getting bullied and did not have energy to fight back until you came and took the stand for me. I was rude to you everytime so that you could leave me be. But you did not turn away like others, you and Ichiko healed me. I feel guilty that you and Ichiko made a pact to ignore Akira. If you want to be with Akira it's totally fine with me. But I cannot be the same with him" he stops and starts tearing and wiping his eyes continuously.

I take a deep breath "Minato listen to me and listen all good. I am sorry for what happened, Akari was a great girl although we never met personally I kind of knew her. She would have been lucky to date a guy like you. But what has happened has happened. We need to put the past behind us so that we can make our future better by living the present to the fullest. The things she made you do makes me believe that she would have wanted you to do the same now and I am grateful that I and Ichiko jumped into your life at the right time. You need to stop living in the past for her sake"

I take a deep breath and continue

And you better print this in your head - you don't get to choose who I can be with. I chose to be with you even after knowing you were not in good terms with Akira. You are my best friend and no one can change that. I don't know what's with Akira and his feelings but I don't feel about him the same way. He's a great guy and any girl in the world would be lucky enough to just have his attention but that's not me. I want to be a rapper and that's all that I want now with you and Ichiko beside me. You don't need to throw yourself before the bus so I can be friends with him" I pause and drink some more water.

We pause for a while and look into each other. He gives me a sad smile and this time I hug him. From his shoulders I can see his butler's shadow standing outside, I wonder if he's hesitant to come inside. We pull back and I point my hand towards the door. Minato let's him in and tells him not to worry. He asks him to prepare breakfast for us. He insists me to clean up in his bathroom after he discovers I just plopped in his room after finishing the diary.

Later we sit at the table having tea. 

"Hey this is just my suggestion..if you're not into Akira then you need to be straightforward with him" he says starting conversation after we are done with breakfast.

"Okay fine and just so you know I am more concerned about you than him. Akira is a good friend. I'll stop then and there if I'm leading him on. I am a little upset that you shared this with me keeping Akira in your mind" I say so that we can drop Akira's topic.

"I am sorry initially I wanted to share this with you and Ichiko but I couldn't I was not ready really. But you guys are the worst players of Chinese whisperer, you think I couldn't hear you'll but I could. So I made up my mind to let you know first" he says looking at my face that is ready to whack him for being apologetic "Now I understand I am not a burden but an important edge of our triangle, so stop nagging and get ready, I also know you and your brothers are hanging out with him" he says calming me down.

"Alright then, I hope you never ever take that off your mind how important you are to me and Ichiko. God I want to be there when you say this to her. I am definite she's going to beat you" I tell him and we start laughing when he nods.

"Now you know why I told you first" he tells me and I start getting texts from my brothers to meet them at the hotel. Before I leave I look at him and say in a serious tone"And about you know Akari... whenever you miss her..you" I start mumbling thinking hard on what words to use and what not.

He ruffles my hair "I understand and I will, now off you go and finish that sip" he says.

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Oops...Had to make this one long