NormanXEmma:Loving you || The Promised Neverland Fanfiction

Chapter 18

Norman's POV

"What the hell?" I muttered as we went inside the boys' restroom. Ray locked it from the inside, leaning on the door and locking his gaze at mine.

"Now spill the tea. What the hell happened to you and Emma?"

He couldn't last long huh. I knew Ray would definitely ask me that, I noticed how much he tried refraining himself from asking what was wrong since Monday, probably because he wanted me to tell him myself. But I didn't.

Crossing my arms, I answered casually.

"I kissed her."

Ray's eyes widened, his mouth hung low a bit from being shocked.

"Okay what the fuck. Emma got me surprised earlier and now you... "

His eyes were still slightly wide while saying that. I nodded in return, and sighed, completely remembering what happened to us.

"You gotta speak up man. That antenna didn't even gave me a decent explanation when I asked her."

Cuz she's not obligated to.

But ofc, I did not say that outloud, instead, I answered Ray with full honesty.

"We just had a talk. A deep one, and I got carried away that's why I kissed her. Everything went awkward after, that's it. "

Ray rolled his eyes at what I said.

"What did you say after that?"

I went silent. That matter was bothering me until now. I apologized, but I understood that Emma wasn't exactly pleased with what I've said. Like, there is something more to explain but I had no courage to tell her.

That's me. I am like that. I'm a coward who is afraid of rejection, because not even once in my life, I got rejected. I am afraid of being judged, that's why I gave my potential to its fullest so no one will have to say anything else.

I shifted my gaze a bit low.

"I said sorry because I got carried away."

Again, his facial expression showed that he was surprised. It was mixed. Given that he was surprise, he also gave off a disapproving vibe which I expected. I know I am the wrong one here.

Honestly, I have no idea of what's going on with his mind right now.
If he found what I did disturbing and so ungentle, or whatever.

"You better make things right Norman."

His tone suddenly went serious, that made me raise my right brow at his sudden change of mood.

"Man, what's wrong with you.."

His bangs covered a bit of his eye, and I couldn't see what his reactions are right now cuz his head hung low. I know he was disappointed, but that tone he gave off made me feel weird.

Ray lifted his his head, a tinge of dark aura around him, and a smirk plastered on his face.

I don't like this.

"Cuz if you don't, then lemme have Emma instead. Ja."

And with that, he left me inside the room.

Tsk. He's lying.

- - - - - - - - -

After the incident, Norman went straight to the council's office. His face were frowning the whole time along with his usual cold expression which makes him more intimidating than usual.

He was about to open the door when he heard someone talking from the inside. A very familiar one.

"Fuck you slut. So now you are telling us that you are in to that Ray?"

"What if I am?"

"Nothing really Miss treasurer. Ray may look like an emo but he's a hottie as well. To be fair, I am honestly happy with what you just said. That means, I'll no longer have hard feelings about you getting in my way with Prez."

"Whatever Barbara. You were just dumb like I used to. Open your eyes. You don't love him. You just like Norman because he seems perfect in your eyes. I'm pretty sure that if you see him make lots of failure, you'll-"

"No way Norman will commit a failure! That's not even existing in his vocabulary!"

"See? That's what I'm telling you."

Those were Anna and Barbara. Upon hearing their conversation, Norman gained the knowledge about Anna suddenly being in to Ray, he wasn't sure because she didn't comfirmed it, but he felt a bit relieved yet sad and anxious.

Relieved, knowing that the certain blonde was not in to him anymore. Sad and anxious because of what he heard about this 'failure thing' AGAIN.

Since he was a child, committing a mistake has been an issue. Norman could not blame them, afterall,He thought it was partially his mistake for being such an excellent leader, due to his fear.

If only I didn't set those standards to myself and for others.
If only I did tell them that I am a human and can feel tiredness all over my brain and body.
If only I am not scared enough to be judged and criticized.
If only I live normally, do what I can and didn't exceed their expectations.

Maybe.. Just maybe.. I could have lived my life with joy like them.