Safety Net

41

CHRISTMAS EVE

Jo sat Hazel in her highchair by the counter as she prepared her lunch. "Ready to try strawberries, big girl?" she cooed at her, and Hazel squealed back. She was ten months old now, and louder than ever. She constantly squealed, babbled, giggled, cried. However, she hadn't quite said her first word yet. Jo was patiently waiting for the day she did (specifically the day she would say Mama).

Jo cut up two strawberries into small bits and put them on Hazels freshly cleaned high chair tray. She had teeth now, so she was able to eat quite a lot. Just no high allergens like peanuts, and no honey until she was one. Jo pulled her phone out and filmed Hazel as she put the first bit of strawberry in her mouth. She chuckled, watching her daughter dive right in for a second bit without hesitation. "It's like you've had these before, Hazel Irene." She ran her fingers through her dark brown hair. She was convinced it was able to fit into a pony tail now.

An hour later, Jo found herself standing in the bathroom with Hazel on the counter in front of her. She pulled her short hair up, to the top of her head, and tied it with an elastic. "I was right, and you look adorable." she giggled, kissing Hazels pudgy, rosy cheeks. "I can't wait until Daddy sees you. He'll be so excited." She sat her on her hip and walked to her nursery and picked out a Christmas dress with white tights and a red bow. She got her dressed in it, which had become increasingly more difficult over the months. She wouldn't stop kicking her legs for a minute to let her parents do up her diaper. She held her around her waist and stood her up, taking in the sight of her daughter in the sparkly red dress Alex had picked out last month. She smiled sadly, picking her up to give her a tight hug. Hazel blew raspberries, which caused Jo to laugh. "I love you, Hazelnut." she whispered.

Jo had gotten herself ready while Hazel had her second nap of the day. Afterwards, they were off to visit Alex in prison. Alex in prison. No matter how many times Jo said it, or even thought it, she never got used to that sickly feeling that came after it. And the idea of bringing her baby daughter in there? That just about made her faint.

Jo held Hazel tight to herself as she walked through the prisons entrance. "I'm here to see a..." she swallowed hard. "I'm Jo Wilson. I have a meeting with Alex Karev.... an inmate."

The prison guard nodded. His hand settled itself on the gun on his belt as they walked passed a few cells, and Jo's eyes never left the weapon. She couldn't bring herself to look up.

"These guy won't harm ya. Just to be prepared for you and your girl." he pressed his lips into a fine line. Jo assumed it was a smile. At some point they made it to the cafeteria. Jo hadn't even noticed until the guard spoke. "Go take a seat there. No touchin' eachother."

Jo nodded and watched as he walked to the corner of the room. She sat on the silver bench. She mindlessly stared at the scratches on the matching silver table. She wondered how they got there. She looked up when she heard rustling and chains clinging together. Her chest tightened and her stomach flipped when she saw Alex in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs. She was sure she was going to be sick.

"Hazel... Jo..." Alex breathed out. He was unaware Hazel would be here. He tried to run ahead, but the prison guards beside him grabbed his arms. He settled himself on the bench adjacent to her. "How... how is she here?"

"I pulled some strings..." Jo mumbled, sitting Hazel in her lap. "I thought you'd want to see her."

"I do. I really, really do. Thank you." his hands were together in his lap. Jo wondered if he was nervous or if it was most comfortable with the handcuffs. "So, how have you been?"

"Good," she nodded absent-mindedly. "Um, Hazel's officially crawling everywhere," she chuckled. Talking about Hazel seemed like the only thing that wouldn't twist her stomach into knots. She was wrong. "She tried strawberries today and loved them."

Alex smiled sadly. He wished he was there. Right as he reached to take Hazel's hand, a few guards stepped forward with their hands on their guns. He quickly pulled back. "I won't touch..." he held his hands up in defeat. His heart broke as he watched his infant daughter squeal and reach for him. He wanted nothing more than to be home with them, preparing for Hazel's first Christmas. "I didn't do it."

"Alex--"

"I didn't do it, Jo. I wouldn't. God, I wanted to, but I didn't,"

Jo took a sharp breath in. Deep down she always knew it wasn't him. She really wished it wasn't. She wasn't religious, but she and Hazel prayed every night he would walk through the door and everything would return to how it was, only a few months later. "I believe you," Alex smiled softly. It quickly disappeared after she spoke again, "but that doesn't matter. They don't." she motioned to all the guards around. "I need you to promise me that you're not going to start fights, or disobey anyones rules? I'm going to fight like Hell to get you out of here and I don't need you making that any harder on me." her tone was serious and determined.

Alex nodded, and before they knew it, their visting time was over. They didn't know when the next time would be, regardless Alex assumed that was the last time he would see his daughter for the year.

"I love you." Jo said as she was being led out by the guards. She wasn't able to hear his reply as they pulled her away and Hazel began to cry. Jo thought she missed him the most, however she was so, so wrong. Hazel was used to spending her entire day with Jo, and Alex would be there too. If he worked a night shift, he would be awake to spend the day with them, despite the bags under his eyes. One day, he was suddenly gone. Right as she thought she got him back, he was leaving her again.