Broken Glass//Shawn Mendes (UNDER MAJOR EDITING)

Chapert 13

Shawn Mendes

Seeing Spencer in this much pain killed me. She did nothing but cry. It seems as if all of the bad things happened to the most beautiful people, but they're so good at hiding it the fact that they were hurting. 

I tried to help Spencer through this, but she always denied me. It hurt me a lot. I thought she trusted me with her problems. I thought I was the one that she went to when she needed to talk.

I slipped my jacket on and began to walk to Nashs' house. Spencer will see me and talk to me. I will show her how much she needs me.

I will her show her how much I need her.

Spencer Claire

"I'm a sad girl
Im a sad girl
I'm a sad girl" I sang along to Lana Del Rey's song "sad girl".

Ever since that night, I've been listening to a lot of Lana. She calms me in a way. Her voice is soft and comforting.

Everything hurts. My body hurts, and in mentally hurt. I can't think of anything other than what I did to myself. But what's really on my mind is Chaz. It was weird to me how he opened up to me, and didn't even know me. I mean, I did the same to him about Taylor, but it's different.

I heard a faint knock on my door and someone come in. "Hey, Spencer.." they trailed off. I turned around on my bed to see Shawn. I feel bad for Shawn. I've been blowing him off for myself. But that' only because I needed to be alone. 

"Hey." I replied. "Listen. Before you ask me to leave, let me tell you this. Spencer, I'm here for you. I want to listen to everything you have to say. I want to know how you feel. It's not cause I'm nosey, it's cause I care for you. Every single night you cried and fell asleep in my arms.... that made me feel like you trusted me and wanted me to protect you. I will protect you with all of my heart, but I can't do that if you keep on blowing me off. I like you... a lot, and I know you like me too. But you can't keep on blowing me off. I need to know what's going on with you. I need to..." he explained as his eyes began to swell with tears.

"I'm so sorry." I replied. I began to tell him how I feel, how everything hurts, how I'm tired of being sad all the time, how I'm sick of being lied to, and how I just want to be happy. By time I was done I was full on balling.

He pulled me into his arms, and engulfed me in a hug. I could smell my tears begin to mix with his cologne. I'm so glad Shawn was here to be quite honest. I could never tell anyone what I just told him. There was something about Shawn that just made me trust him with my secrets.

He ran his hand a long my spine and began to sing "alright" by Justin Bieber.

"Don't worry... I'll make everything okay." he whispered in my ear. It made me feel so reassured when he was there for me. It's just  lately, I wanted to be there for myself for a change. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted to feel independent. I just don't think I'm ready to do that yet. I'm not mentally and emotionally stable enough do hold myself together. If I didn't have Shawn, I probably wouldn't have anyone. Now that I don't have Taylor, all I have is Shawn. I mean, yeah I have Nash and maybe Jack, but I can't tell them the things I tell Shawn. I feel like maybe I tell Shawn things I wouldn't tell other people, because I have a little bit of feelings for Shawn. 

"It might make a year, it might make a day, but whats meant to be will always find its way. Please don't give up on me, Spencer." Shawn whispered in my ear, giving me a stable feeling. 

I want to stay strong for him... I really do.