Wonder

Cold

*Tobins POV*

It had been a few days of this casual fling thing, I didn't hate it. I was enjoying the simplicity of things, Chris was still being so soft, even if we were sleeping together everyday. I'm meant to be taking notes on biology right now, but my brain has me stuck on a certain someone right now. I desperately wished to leave and run back to Christens room so we could talk all day and all night again, but I had a lecture to finish.

I wanted to ask her to be mine, officially, but I know she's not ready for that yet. I wondered what she was busy doing right now, maybe she was still asleep like when I left this morning. Who knows. The slides on the board continued to change and I continued to ignore them, they'd be on the internet right? I'm pretty sure Christen takes a similar class, maybe she could help me later.

I decided to scroll through Facebook, if I was going to ignore the lecture I may as well do it properly I suppose. My feed was kinda bland, mostly various sports posts, specifically soccer but there was a bit of hockey and various things peppered in around it. It was at this moment I realised Christen and I weren't actually friends yet, I typed her name into the search bar atop my screen and her profile popped right up. We had two mutual friends already, classmates we shared, one was Kelley who I'm pretty sure was Christens current best friend.

I scrolled through her feed for a little while, she didn't really post much, but she shared a lot of things. I managed to find myself in 2017 territory pretty quickly and one of her old profile pictures appeared, she had the worlds biggest smile on her face and a cute little bucket hat. Without thinking anything of it I clicked 'Like' and began to scroll down further. It wasn't til a few seconds later that I realised what I had done, in a panic I scrolled back up frantically to undo the mess I had made.

Sighing audible I dropped my forehead into my palm and shook my head, what an idiot. I sent the friend request and immediately shut the website down. I'd basically dug my own grave and buried myself in shame at this point, but perhaps she hadn't noticed...

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket before I even got to finish processing my thought, "Chris to Tobin: Hey stalker... ;)"

"Tobin to Chris: Was kinda hoping u hadn't noticed, oops" I shot back, looking up to make sure the lecturer wasn't paying any attention to me and my phone.

"Chris to Tobin: Oh I definitely did. I'm flattered that u would rather stalk me than listen to a lecture though"

"Tobin to Chris: I'm probably going to regret that decision come exam time"

"Chris to Tobin: I'll help you, I know some things, Biology right?"

"Tobin to Chris: Now who's the stalker? Yeah Bio"

"Chris to Tobin: I memorised your timetable so if I wanted to surprise you sometime I'd know where you were"

"Tobin to Chris: That's sweet...surely that's code for sex though"

"Chris to Tobin: You're just addicting like that ;)"

I felt a little put down by her texts, it started sweet but it proved my own suspicions. I know we agreed this whole thing was basically friends with benefits, but it mostly just felt like the benefits part at this point. It wasn't so bad for her because she didn't even know if she had feelings or not, but for me, it was almost torture. I wanted to kiss her softly without it leading anywhere else, I wanted to hold her in my arms all the time, not just after she'd finished in bed. Maybe that day would come, maybe it wouldn't, it hurt so bad because I might never hear the answer that I wanted.

Never mind that situation, being lost in thought had apparently wasted enough time for the class to finish. I packed up my things and left without a word, making my way toward the dorm rooms in a fast walk. I slid the spare key into Christens door, she gave me one yesterday so I could come back after my early lecture without knocking in case she was still asleep. That didn't matter much though seeing as she was already wide awake and sitting on her couch and had been texting me.