bloody green eyes [clexa au]

CHAPTER XXXV

Clarke tried to find the girl again, the night after. She was staying in a tiny hotel, but it didn't matter, she was living the NY dream life, wandering all day in the city, with the money Gabriel and Bellamy gave her. It was around sunset time on Manhattan, when she moved to Lexa's building. There was a wooden bench, on which Clarke was waiting. She was waiting because the apartment in which Lexa was living was still dark. Approximately a quarter later, a beautiful woman arrived, warming Clarke's heart. It was so incredible to finally see the girl again ! She hadn't changed a bit during all these months, she still has charisma, charm, sexyness, and beautiful eyes !

Clarke has dreamt about this moment for so long, that it was hardly believable !It took Lexa a few seconds to realise who was here, because the blonde looked like she hadn't sleep for two weeks straight, but still, the girl in front of her was as stunning as the day she left. The brunette was kind of happy to know that Clarke hasn't gave up on her, even if she did herself. Lexa wasn't ready to admit it but having left Clarke and coming to New York was clearly a big mistake... They both stayed silent for some times, until Clarke finally spoke up, still her watery eyes, ready to cry anytime. "I...I missed you so much"

It hit Lexa in the face once more, to realise that she clearly turned the blonde's life to a living hell. But Lexa felt kinda weird to just be here, in front of the girl and act like nothing has changed, and there was something else which left weird... Clarke's smile faded away when she saw a girl behind Lexa. It was a tall dark blonde woman, a bit like Clarke but definitely less cute. Of course the blonde immediately wondered who it was, she wondered if Lexa had already move on. The brunette felt immediately what was going on with the blonde and her confused face.

Lexa thought about telling Niylah to go home now but after all they had a date this night and she really wanted to spend this last moment with her. In all this months it was the first time Lexa went again in anything romantic with someone, but now with having Clarke around and seeing that she hadn't gave up, this all date thing seems wrong. Niylah clearly felt the tension between those two, and as she has been waiting for this date for weeks, she didn't want to mess the possible future she has with Lexa, so she just left. Right before leaving, she headed towards Clarke and shaked her hand, saying "Hi I'm Niylah, nice to meet you"

The confused Clarke answered "Hum hi, I'm Clarke" and Niylah made an intrigued face and let go of her hand and headed towards Lexa to say goodbye. She hugged the brunette quickly, and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. To that, Clarke rolled her eyes... Niylah left and said really loudly "Thanks for tonight Lexa, I'll see you at work tomorrow !" It was the two of them, alone, again. A few awkward seconds have passed, because they were looking at each other in the eyes, with such intensity, that it was almost creating thunderstorm around them.

Their reunion was pretty intense one can say. Hopefully Clarke would get ride of her depression if Lexa was willing to help her. It was really strange for Clarke to see right in front of her eyes, as that night she disappeared, she had imagined the worse events that could have happened to her brunette. But on the other hand, Lexa was really thankful to see her blonde tonight. Even if it has been a while, she still has feeling for Clarke and this whole New York lifestyle without her at her side, honestly felt like her existence was missing the most important piece.

"You don't even know how much I'm happy to see you tonight Clarke..." whispered the brunette. "Yeah me too Lex, but I need you to explain me why the fuck you left me alone nine months ago !" it was a mixed of madness and desperateness. Tears were already filling the green orbs, as it was a sensitive point the blonde was holding there. "No...I can't Clarke..." she said, tears at her eyes' corners. The blonde's blood was now boiling, she hadn't come here just to here this. She was ready to do quite a dramatic show to the girl just to show how much she cared about her. Clarke took a long breath and delivered what was on her heart.

"YOU CAN'T ? YOU CAN'T LEXA ? THAT NIGHT YOU DISAPPEARED, YOU SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME ! FOR FOUR MONTHS I SPENT MOST OF MY NIGHTS TRYING TO FIND YOU LEXA ! I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS BAD OVER THE PAST MONTHS SINCE MY FATHER'S DEATH OKAY ??! I'M HAVING A FUCKING DEPRESSION BECAUSE OF YOU LEX. I LOVE YOU YOU KNOW THAT DUMBASS ??! I TOLD YOU WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER ! SO PLEASE STOP BEING SO SELFISH I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH..." what she said brought more tears to both of them. But Lexa was the most disturbed.

Never, oh never she would have imagine how much bad she has inflicted on her blonde friend. She took some time to remember why she even left, as she had tried to forget... And when she raised her head, she saw right into the hurt and wounded eyes of Clarke and she knew. She knew she had to be honest with her. She knew she had broken her life once, no need to do it again, Clarke deserved to know. At her turn, Lexa took a long breath. "Okay Clarke, you're right I must be honest with you, so I propose we go to my apartment, I can prepare you some food and I'll you everything you want to know..."