𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐊𝐄𝐘 - 𝐑. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

FOUR
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Rintarou Suna laid on his bed, with the black leather book in his hand, skimming past the different pages and examining the different drawings that were inside it. His fingers traced the butterfly wings attached on the cover, feeling its weird texture because he's never had the chance to touch this certain insect before.

Upon first opening the book just a few minutes ago, he instantly felt guilty for browsing through such a private valuable, but the curiosity that filled his mind fought against this subconscious in his brain that told him to close it again, because that was definitely something he wasn't supposed to see.

    Thus, brought him to what he was doing now, which is aimlessly browsing through the book.

    There were drawings that ranged from different people that had some sort of twinge of craze hidden beneath their eyes, represented by a spiral that surrounded their irises.

Some of them held knives, some of them had an eye patch, and some of the faces were half-skulls. There were also drawings of a few detailed cats and insects, and they were all colored with bold watercolors and markers which made the strange drawings look more defined.

There are a lot of skulls and dead flowers, is what he first thought right after he flipped it open.

But what caught his eye is what seemed to be a drawing of a detailed arm that had a lot of marks and wounds, making him tense at how realistic it looked.

    Flipping to the very last page among papers that had contents inside it, he came across the small text once again. It was just right beside the drawing of the fallen angel and the deceased insect.

    His brows furrowed and squinted his eyes at the incredibly small hand writing.

    "Tell me, what is your left and what is your right because when you turn your body the other way, what used to be your right is now your left. And the world works in a similar way, where the right and wrong are just made up of human ideals of what they feel is to be correct and incorrect.

    Emotions tend to be the cause of this domino effect wherein you wonder if what you're doing might hurt other people – this is when you truly ponder on whether it is right or wrong.

    But is it really?

    Because when I drag this hand that bears sharp nails across my already damaged supple skin unintentionally – unwillingly, tell me, is it still wrong? Is it wrong of me to do something that I cannot help? Because if we base the meaning of right and wrong towards human feelings, then it would be perceived as wrong because I am hurting myself.

    I'm confused, I want someone to tell me what they think of this.

    P.S. I don't think I'm getting any better. The pain is just getting worse after each passing day, and I just... I don't want to feel anything anymore.

Zumi Hoga"

    As soon as Suna finished reading the text, his heart pounded rapidly against his chest because of the guilt that was starting to rapidly consume him once again – that was something he was definitely not supposed to read. And it was even worse for him because she was an upperclassman, he wondered if one of her friends would just suddenly come pounding on the door of his house, demanding to have a talk with him. He should've stopped flipping the pages after seeing the drawings.