𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐊𝐄𝐘 - 𝐑. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐎𝐍𝐄

THIRTY-ONE

[ TRIGGER WARNING ]
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As school comes back and the days of when she went home to her mother went by a little too fast for her liking, Zumi found herself sitting down on the usual bench beside the Cherry Blossom Tree. Though this time, she didn't even try to bring her lunch box out of her bag at all – the appetite immediately diminished the moment she stepped towards the area, but that didn't stop her from staying at that certain bench.

At this point in her life, the loneliness that used to cloud her mind returned and became more unbearable now that she learned how amazing it feels to have someone by her side. It was like a missing piece of a large image that could make anyone feel dissatisfied at the empty space that it left – the image was there but there will always be something missing.

She clenched her hands then furrowed her brows, abruptly standing up with her bag slung carelessly over her shoulder. She dipped her head down with the strands of her dark hair covering her face as she bit her lips, forcing the tears back inside the sockets of where it originated by widening her eyes and closing it repeatedly.

Her feet immediately brought her to the washroom, pushing the door with her hands that felt heavy while her chest rose and fell rapidly – she hated this. It was something that she felt when she had to move away from Miyagi. The silent walls were suffocated her ears that yearned to hear her mother's voice, but instead, was greeted by a silence that hugged her.

This was the same.

The silence reminded her that she was alone once again – but if she could hear nothing inside this empty space, then why did everything seem so loud inside her mind?

She pushed the door of the cubicle open, ignoring the stares that she received from the other girls that were standing in front of the mirror. She locked the door and sat over the lid of the toilet, bringing her hands up to cover her face while her chest started rising and falling rapidly.

The intense noise that clouded her ears along with the sound of distant laughs from the other students that hung outside, rang around repeatedly with the eerie sound of nothing that stung her ears repeatedly.

Then a pained sob escaped her lips that she was sure that the other students that stood outside heard, she just hoped that they would walk out soon. She dropped her bag on the ground, not caring that the floors were probably filled with bacteria. Her mouth released a quiet hum as she continued to cry for herself.

She rocked her body back and forth placing her own hands on her shoulders, rubbing herself comfortingly while whispering, "Shh, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. At the end of the day, you only have yourself so you have to overcome this."

Her chest rose unevenly as tears escaped from her lids that dropped on the tiled floors of the small cubicle. Unconsciously, she lifted her hand up then began running her nails over her bandaged arms in agitation, allowing more sobs to escape from her lips that started trembling.

The only view that she could see was the blurred image of the pink door of the cubicle that she occupied.

"Shh, you're going to be okay." She pursed her lips and looked up at the ceiling before cursing silently, "Fuck. I hate this so much."

Her mind drifted off to the days when she still had no one, where the closest thing she had to a friend was her father when they moved to Hyogo. But then it drifted off to the fun times that she had when having someone to talk to and tell stories to instead of just writing her feelings inside her book that no one could even see.