How Long Will I Love You?

Missing You

I stopped dead in my tracks when I got a full view of the set for the photoshoot. Maybe I was not paying too much attention during the ride to the vacation house because I thought it was only surrounded by mountain and trees. I was wrong.  I never thought that I'd be walking out into a view of the pool that appears to merge with the vast sea. The plastic tumbler full of kiwi fruit juice Eunwoo just gave me slipped from my grasp as I felt my extremities go numb. I started trembling, my heart pounding hard on my chest that it starts to hurt. It felt like the waves were pulling me and I was being swallowed whole by the sea, just like the dreams that haunted me in my sleep, my vision started to blur as I breathe rapidly. I caught a glimpse of the worried faces that surrounded me but I couldn't hear anything as beads of sweat started forming on my forehead while I pant.

Someone enveloped me into a tight hug before whispering in my ear, "Close your eyes. I got you." It was Eunwoo. My body relaxed a little as I leaned on him. "Breathe with me when I start counting, okay?" he said encouragingly in a gentle voice. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing as he started counting. I can hear his heart drumming against his chest, it reminded me of that time when Sungjae held me close in his arms, his warmth encapsulating me, making me feel safe despite the excruciating pain that was pulling me to unconsciousness... it was that time in the past when I recalled who he was after accidentally seeing our picture at B Island.  Tears started streaming down my face... I miss him so bad it hurts.

"I think we should reschedule the photoshoot," Wendy suggested to someone.

I was pulled back from my trance upon hearing reschedule. It's been approximately an hour since I had a panic attack. I don't want to burden anyone. "No, let's proceed with the photoshoot," I insisted while looking at Wendy stubbornly.

"We can do it some other time. We'll change the set." Peniel stated while adjusting the camera he was holding.

"No. Please. Let's do it today. I'll be fine as long as Eunwoo is with me," I said persistently. I was close to tearing up. I don't want to ruin everyone's plan for the day and make all their efforts in setting up the venue go to waste.

Wendy sighed in defeat before agreeing. "Alright, we just need to tweak the set a little. Both of you get ready and change your clothes."

Eunwoo squeezed my hand, "Are you sure about this?"  I smiled at him and nodded. I was actually scared but I need to do this. 

We were ready in no time with the help of the D&S staffs who did our make up and helped us dress up.  I was a bit nervous when it was finally our time to go back to the set because I was reminded of what happened earlier, when I had an episode of panic attack. My heart started to accelerate like a speeding car, each beat pounded with great force on my chest.

I let out a long and loud breath at the sight of a white cloth that blocked the view of the sea. I was relieved. Maybe I should consult a therapist one of these days. I don't want to avoid the sea for the rest of my life.

"Okay, let's start!" Peniel and Wendy happily announced making me focus my attention on them. I sighed once again as I followed Eunwoo at the poolside.

Well, except for the part where Eunwoo and I needed to go into the water, everything went smoothly during the photoshoot.  I was also thankful that the clothes that I wore were lose and not body hugging.  I was worried my baby bump would show.

I was already dressed in my own clothes after a quick shower and was waiting for Eunwoo to finish. He still needed to do a couple of shots for some accessories.

I found a peaceful spot at a balcony facing the mountainous area of the vacation house. I felt my body sank and relax as I sat on a soft, round  and comfortable couch with lots of throw pillows. I lay down and hugged one of the pillows. I suddenly felt tired and sleepy.

I was thrown once again back to the time when Sungjae gave me the ring that I wore around my neck. We slept at a round wicker sofa day bed similar to where I was resting now. Why is it that everything I do lately reminds me of him. My sleepy eye darted towards the door to the balcony upon hearing footsteps. Maybe I missed him so much that I'm even starting to see him walk out from the door towards the balcony. He gazed at me with sadness and longing in his eyes. He hesitated for a while before we walked towards where I was. A part of the couch sank as he sat next to me. He brushed back my hair and caressed my cheek. "I miss you," I whispered at the same time a tear ran freely out of my eye. He smiled sadly at me. Why isn't he saying anything? I guess I'm dreaming... Please don't wake me up yet. I want to be with him for a while even if it's just a dream.

    ☘🍃☘🍃☘🍃☘🍃☘🍃☘🍃☘

"YA! SHIN DONG GUEN!" Wendy called out. "Why didn't you tell me that Sungjae also has a photoshoot schedule today and... he's not alone." She stared at Peniel accusingly with furrowed brow.

"I didn't know he'd come early," Peniel explained.

"Liar." Wendy crossed her arm over her chest.

Peniel sighed in defeat, "I... I want to give them a little time together."

"This is so frustrating." Wendy blurted out while massaging her temple.

"I know," Peniel agreed before giving Wendy a hug. She slowly melted in his arms as she hugged him back. "Thank you Peunie~"

A/N:
My brain cells are not functioning well. 😐😧
I'll finish the story no matter what. (Hopefully...)
And... I miss bbyu💔 (Rewatching WGM is not enough)