How Long Will I Love You?

L i v e W e l l

The insides of my stomach started churning and revolting making me drop what I'm holding and stop what I was doing as I quickly urged my feet towards the bathroom to throw my guts out. This thing they called morning sickness – I wonder when it'll stop. It's getting worse every day.

"Hey, are you sick?" A concerned voice asked me once I was out of the washroom. I was wiping my tears and beads of sweat that formed as I heaved and retched while emptying the contents of my stomach. Eunwoo was looking at me worriedly while holding huge bags on both hands.

"What are those?" I asked changing the topic. He was about to say something when Yeri interrupted him.

"Good morning!" she greeted as she yawned and stretched before running towards Eunwoo. She grabbed the bags he was holding and smiled brightly."You're really the best Eunwoo!" She started emptying the content of the bags on the dining table.

Fruits, milk, yogurt, ice cream, eggs...

EGGS

"Do you smell something burning?" Eunwoo sniffed then scrunched his nose as he followed where the scent came from.

My eyes grew wide at the recollection of the egg I was frying. Eunwoo beat me to the kitchen and removed the pan with the burnt egg from the fire. There goes my breakfast. I sighed as I took a chair and sat next to the dining table watching Yeri arranging the groceries Eunwoo brought. I felt a bit exhausted as I try to chew on some ice chips Yeri offered me.

"Ya! Are you trying to live in my apartment? You have your unit, why are you camping here?" I asked Yeri as I reached for a bowl and a box of cereal. Eunwoo handed me the bottle of milk before taking out a bowl and started putting a variety of fruits, nuts and mixing it with yogurt.

"I love how soft and warm your bed is so I'm going to continue sleeping here as long as I want whether you like it or not." She pouted at her and devoured the serving of yogurt mix Eunwoo gave her.

She knew Yeri was just making up excuses to stay with her ever since she found out about her pregnancy. She was glad that someone was there and she never felt alone. She smiled at her genuinely before mumbling, "thank you."

"What did I miss?" Eunwoo asked curiously while staring back at them.

"If you don't hurry, you'll be late for the photoshoot." Yeri announced ignoring Eunwoo's question. The guy narrowed his eyes at them before concentrating on his meal with his brows knitted as if in deep thought.

"Don't rush and enjoy your meal," I tapped his arm and stood up. "I'll be ready in a few minutes." I stood up and went to my room to get ready for the shoot.

The photoshoot was for a fashion magazine called D&S which was recently gaining popularity in the country. She still couldn't believe that Donggeun and Seungwan, a.k.a. Peniel and Wendy, founded and published this magazine not long ago.

I was lost in my thought once again as I watched the green scenery we passed by outside the car's window. It reminded me of B Island and the incident before Sungjae disappeared...

I woke up in bed alone. I was in the facility once again. My head and body hurts as I tried to recall what happened.

I was standing at the deck appreciating the sea and the seagulls when all of a sudden someone tried to push and pull me. The next thing I know, I was falling from the deck, my body smashing painfully at the sea. I struggled and threw my hand wildly around while trying to claw my way out to the surface of the sea. I started to panic when someone grasped my feet and tried to pull me down. I started to choke as salty water entered my nose and mouth.

"Sungjae – Hel –Help!" I tried to yell and gasp for air.

I was getting exhausted when I heard a splash and an arm around my waist. I tried to free myself from that person's grasp but then I heard Eunwoo shouting, "I got you." My tears fell, mixing with the sea water, as I relaxed. I felt worn out then slowly darkness swallowed me as I lost my consciousness.

When I woke up, I expected Sungjae to be around. I waited... and waited... but he never came and I never saw him after the incident. BTOB members have been quiet and have been avoiding mentioning anything about his whereabouts. After recovering, I was told that the photoshoot and event was postponed and that the others already went back to the city.

I can't help but wonder if it was my fault that all activities at B Island were halted and put off...

I was waiting for my friends to pick me up at the facility's lobby when Changsub approached me. "I want to apologize in behalf of our youngest. Sometimes we don't know what's going on in his head. Other times he acts irrational and on an impulse," he tried explaining. "No matter what happens, stay strong and always be safe. I hope you live well Joy~ah. I'm always rooting for you. Anyway, I guess, you just have to trust him."

I was close to tearing up as he gave me a brotherly hug. Changsub was the first and last one who talked to me about Sungjae before we left the island. I guess the others were trying to avoid hurting me by not mentioning Sungjae whenever they were around me.

Trust...? Can I do that? Can I trust him when I feel like he left me hanging after everything that happened between us? Why do I feel like I was used then dumped? We're going back to the city earlier than planned and it felt like I left pieces of me while I watch B Island disappear into a tiny dot as the private plane flew higher into the sky. I quickly dried a tear that escaped my eye as I pretended to sleep while enduring the constant ache in my chest.

"Sooyoung, are you okay?" Eunwoo's warm hand squeezed mine pulling me back to reality.

I blinked away the tears that started forming in my eyes. "I want to eat kiwi fruit," I blurted out as I caressed my not-so-obvious baby bump.

"Is that the main reason why you're tearing up?" he asked me in a curious manner.

"No. I'm tearing up because I've been craving for salmon," I really wanted to eat some right now though.

"Liar."

I narrowed my eyes on him, "I really want some salmon."

Eunwoo sighed loudly as he parked the car in front of what seemed to be a vacation house surrounded by nature. He looked at me in the eye, "When is your next appointment for your prenatal check up?"

My jaw dropped, "How... How did you know?"

"How can I not know? Mood swings. Food cravings. You feeling tired most of the time. Frequent visit to the bathroom either to pee or throw up. Drinking fresh fruit juices when the rest of us are drinking beer...  Do I need to say more?"

"Uh-huh, really...? What else?" I nodded and asked suspiciously crossing my arms on my chest.

"Look here, it really doesn't matter who told me," he began as he held my hands. "We're here for you. I hope you always remember that."