☼ D̶a̶y̶ ̶5̶ ̶|̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶E̶x̶p̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶T̶o̶ ̶F̶i̶x̶ ̶M̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ☼

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T̴r̴i̴g̴g̴e̴r̴ ̴W̴a̴r̴n̴i̴n̴g̴

Disease, Death

♥♥♥

"Oh, yeah, he's upstairs." Hailey says, moving aside so that her three friends could enter.

"How's he holding up?" Jake asks. 

"Honestly, he's doing better than he was before. He's no longer in denial. He's just... Depressed, and miserable." Hailey explains, as the others realize how dark the house was. 

"Is he still looking through the old photo albums?" Sean asked softly, knowing Zander could probably hear them, something the others didn't seem aware of.

"Yeah. I really don't think it's healthy, but I guess it's his way of coping. He really wants to visit Luke, believe me, but our parents aren't letting him, saying he's too weak right now. In a way, he is. Follow me, you can come see him." Hailey said as she began to walk up the stairs, the others following her.

They arrived in front of a door, which Hailey softly knocked on.

"Go away." A cracky, quiet voice snapped. The voice was familiar, yet sounded so different at the same time.

"Zander, open up or I'll kick the door down." Milly snarls, pushing through the other so that she's in front.

"No." Zander groans.

A loud bang was heard as the door fell onto the floor.

"What the Hell?! It doesn't even have a lock!" Zander yelled as he grabbed a pillow and threw it at his friends. 

"Whoopsie." Milly said, dodging the pillow as the group looked around at their surroundings.

The room was as dark as the rest of the house. The only source of light in the room was a laptop sitting on the floor, which had a photo gallery of Zander and Luke. Untouched plates of food sat on Zander's desk, alongside a lot of crumpled up papers. Zander sat on his bed on the far end of the room, tissue boxes, tissue and photo albums were scattered all over his bed. 

"Alright, you need to toughen up." Milly says as Hailey walks over to the window, opening the blinds as the room lights up. Zander hisses at the bright sun, as if he were a vampire.

"Luke's dying, and that's not good. We're all just as upset as you, Zander. But right, he needs you more than anything. You're gonna eat, change, and freshen up so you can go visit your best friend in the hospital and confess your love to him." Milly says as she sits down on the bed next to Zander. Sean sits down on the chair at Zander's desk, and Jake and Hailey settle down on the floor.

"I can't... It's too painful to see him on that hospital bed, every second a step closer to death." Zander sniffles, as he begins to cry into his hands.

"Just because you don't wanna see him like that, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna see you. He needs you, Zander." Milly says, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Zander, you should confess. He's gonna die soon, he has to know." Sean says softly.

Zander stares at the floor for a second. "M-maybe, I suppose... I'll consider it." He sniffles, grabbing a tissue from the nearest tissue box and loudly blowing his nose. 

"You know, you used to bother to care how you looked!" Milly snapped as she grabbed Zander's shoulders, shaking him violently, as if to snap him out of his miserable reality.

"Well, not anymore." Zander said before shoving the girl off of him. 

"Zander, they're right. You need to take better care of yourself, especially if you wanna make the speech at Luke's memorial, and, well, see him before he... Goes..." Hailey said quietly.

Zander stared at her, looking like he was about to say something, the only noise that came from him was the familiar choking sound of a sob.

He dug his face into his knees, while he wrapped his arms around them. 

"Zander... You alright?" Jake asks, gazing at the shorter boy.

Zander turned his head up, his puffy eyes glancing around the room.

"It hurts, but that's okay. I'm used to it." He sighed, his voice shaky.

"Zander, we're gonna miss him just as much as you are." Sean said.

"You don't get it!" Zander yelled. The others were shocked by his sudden change of emotions. 

"I- I loved him! I still do! And now, I'm gonna lose him forever!" He cried as he reached to his side table, grabbing a lamp, ripping it from the outlet and throwing it at the wall behind Hailey and Jake. The light shatters, causing them both to jump, and Jake to let out a yelp. 

"Zander..." Milly says quietly, looking at the boy, a scared look in her eyes. 

"I'm just sitting there, while the world is breaking me! And I'm expected to fix myself..."

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