Falling (BTS J-Hope FF)

The Dark Day

The rain drummed against the black umbrella, sounding like fingertips on a tabletop. It did very little to keep me dry as it came down the curved sides and splashed on the already waterlogged ground. I was losing feeling in my toes as the cold seeped through my boots, but I paid it no mind. I had been numb all day.

I felt an arm go around my shoulders as I watched the caskets being lowered into the ground. But I couldn't find any reason to look or care who was trying to comfort me. My world was being placed into the cold, wet ground, and I was to be left here in this cold wet world, alone. I felt abandoned. I felt angry, but mostly I just felt empty. My parents were gone. The two people who cared for me with a boundless love, no no longer there. I have relatives, and I know they love me, but they live far and they don't know me like my parents do. Did.

"If you need anything, dear, just call, okay?"

I turn towards the voice and see my Aunt Rose. Apparently that was the owner of the arm still on my shoulders. I give her what I hope is a nod, but with the amount of effort I put into it, I can't be sure. It appears it was sufficient enough. She leans in to give me a hug. I don't move my free arm. I just continue holding the umbrella, my other arm hanging at my side. She pulls back with a sad smile on her face, gives my shoulder a squeeze then joins my Uncle Clark. They walk away, casting worried glances in my direction. I turn back to the now descended caskets.

I don't know how long I continued to stand there. People had shuffled by with condolences as they departed some time ago, but I was rooted to where I stood. 

"It's time to go, Alexis," the priest says to me. He stayed. I appreciated that. "I know. It's going to be hard, but it's time to make that first step to moving on." 

His words aren't unkind, but they still stung nonetheless. Move on? What does that even mean? I thank him for all he did and slowly make my way to the gate of the cemetery. I see a tall, slender form dressed in a fine, black suit near the entrance, but I don't recognize him. I say nothing to him, just walk past, but I can feel him watching me. I don't care. What difference does anything make now? I just want to get away from it all. 

I get to my car and notice the man in black followed me, albeit from a distance. I squint at him through the constant raindrops. He has black hair that swoops over in a wave, falling over his right temple and is stylishly swept back on the other side. Even in my disconnected state I can tell he is quite striking. He stands with his hands in his pockets, just watching. Strangely, he doesn't seem to be getting wet under this freezing downpour. He is so still as he gazes at me. Unnaturally so. It's quite unnerving.

"Can I help you?" I call out.

The stranger stirs slightly. He takes a step back but still keeps his piercing eyes on me, saying nothing.

"Okay, well, have a good day," I say and unlock my car and get in. 

I drive around aimlessly for a while. I can't bring myself to go home. I know I will have to eventually return, but I just can't right now. I decide to go to my favorite spot to find peace. The old library down by the courthouse downtown. It's gothic interior and soaring ceilings make me feel small, but in a good way. Like there is so much out there, but I am still a part of it no matter my size.

I park across the street and get out of my car. I forgo my umbrella and just pull the hood of my pea coat up. My mind is already begging for the comfort of the smell of old books and the natural hush that envelops the library. The ache inside of me becomes overwhelming and I find myself running across the four lanes of the busy street, desperate to find solace as quickly as possible from the pain that is crushing my heart.

I don't see the truck, I'm blinded by grief, but I hear it. I hear the screaming of the brakes and the shuddering of the engine as it tries to stop. I can feel the icy spray of the water from the road as the tires try to find a grip on the road. And I can feel the heat force through the grill as the truck comes grinding towards me. 

Deep down, I know it was all happening fast, but in my mind it felt like time had slowed. I recognized my mistake and that it would most certainly end in my death. How ironic, I think to myself. I thought with what just happened, I would welcome death. I guess I was wrong, but too late now. I laugh at the absurdity of my casualness. Then I laugh for laughing at a time like this. I close my eyes, regretfully knowing I had to accept what was happening.

Two arms are around me, then I am braced against my own car, watching, over a black clad shoulder, the truck destined for my demise, skid to a stop 10 yards past from where I was just a second ago. The arms continue to hold me tight, as the driver of the truck gets out and looks at the spot I had been and then to the spot I'm occupying now. His mouth hangs open in shock as he stares at me.

"Are- Are you okay, young lady?" He stutters, awkwardly making his way towards me and my savior.

The arms loosen their tight squeeze, but they continue to hold me.

I look up towards the face of my rescuer and see the sharp outline of a well sculpted jaw. His full lips are set in a firm line, and his dark eyes are narrowed towards the driver.

"Yes, I think so," I answer. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was just caught up in my thoughts, I guess."

The driver still looks incredulous, but he gives a small nod of acceptance. "Just watch out next time. That was a close call, and if it wasn't for that young man there, well, it would have been a lot closer than either of us would have liked."

"Yes, I know. Thank you, and sorry again," I reply.

The driver gives me one last look and shakes his head slightly, then turns and walks back to his truck and drives off. The arms begin to unwrap from my body and I am freed from being pressed against the car. A crowd had formed, and my protector is casting watchful glances around.

"Thank you, for saving me," I say to him. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you."

He shifts his eyes down to mine, and I gasp.

A/N Hey everyone, welcome to my first ever fanfic! Though I've read a few, (I'm new to Wattpad) I've never written one. And what better fanfic to kick it off than a BTS one, specifically about our sweet sunshine, Hobi! And frankly, there just simply are not enough Hoseok fanfics out there. I hope you all enjoy it, and if you do, will keep coming back and voting! And please leave comments! I would love to hear from you all. And if you have a story you'd like to share, let me know!