Falling (BTS J-Hope FF)

Comfort in the Night

Lex POV

I pull into the garage of my house, turn of the car and sit. It was now just my home. I will be the only one returning to it. The calm, comforting feeling I had while in Hoseok's presence had begun to dissipate halfway through the drive home.  

I look up to the door that lead inside and feel my stomach twist. How was I going to find the strength to go inside? I already longed for that sense of temporary relief Hoseok offered. I couldn't explain how being around him did something to help me not focus on the sorrow. The grief was there, but it was dulled enough to allow me to be myself. I close my eyes and recall the feeling of being with Hoseok. I take a deep breath and get out of the car and walk into the house.

It was just how I left it this morning, yet it felt emptier. Of course I had continued living here since the accident, but the funeral made their deaths all the more real. It was easy to deny the truth and pretend they were just away, but all that changed when I watched them being lowered into the ground. 

You can do this, Lex. Today is no different than any of the other past few days. I said, giving myself a pep talk.  I hung up my coat and kicked off my boots by the door, then walked into the family room. I sit down on the couch and grab the remote, but hesitated to turn on the tv. I wasn't quite comfortable. I shiver from a chill and decide I need a blanket. Grabbing my trusty, fluffy blanket, I snuggle back into the couch and lift the remote. But I still just sit, staring at the blank screen. I look around the room, seeing so much of my past life interweaved with my parents' lives. I sigh, knowing I can't be in here just yet. I get up and head to my room.

I decide to take a shower first, the cold of the day had settled into my bones. I stay under the steady stream, letting the warmth wash over me. I get out and put on my comfiest pajamas and climb under the covers. I mindlessly flip through shows on Netflix, but never quite watch anything. I try to fall asleep, but it just keeps dancing out of my reach. I toss and turn for what seems like hours before getting up and pacing the floor. 

I wander over to the bedroom door, tired and drained, but looking for some type of escape. But my emotions quickly begin to overflow and the tears start falling when I step out into the hallway. I quickly close the door on the too quiet house, my body hitching from the sobs I do nothing to try to contain.

I look up to the window, seeing the snow drifting past the windowpane in a silent dance. I walk over to my bed and grab a blanket off it and curl up on the cushioned window seat. I touch the glass, feeling the sharp cold bite my fingertips, but it immediately warms and I feel a sense of calm and ease flow over me. My breathing slows and regulates. My eyes become heavy and I can finally feel the bliss of sleep overtake me.

Hoseok POV

I storm out of the mansion, fuming at Namjoon's words. I know he's worried, and I know my choices can hold dire consequences, but I can't seem to turn away. Being with her has set me on a path that I don't know if I want to step off. I know I should, but I've never felt something so strong before. How can what I feel be so bad?

I rub the back of my neck and look back at the house. I see a pair of bright doe eyes peering at me from a crack in the front door.

"What do you want, Jungkook?" I ask, heavily.

He opens the door wider. "Can I ask you something?" he asks, stepping out further.

I look at him and sigh. I just can't seem to ever be able to say no to the kid. "Sure, come on out."

He strides over and squares me up. When did this kid become as tall as me? "So, what were you doing with that girl? Are you really doing what everyone thinks you are?"

I can't seem to find an answer for him. 

"Hobi, I can see how you feel, and I'm not judging you for it."

I chuckle at his perceptiveness. "Thanks, Kook."

He looks down, his lips pursed. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure."

He peers at me with those wide, dark eyes. "Is she worth it?"

I look down and whisper, "Yes."

He nods his head and turns and jogs back into the house. I look up and see Yoongi watching from one of the upper windows. He just give another fathomless look, then turns away. I need to get out of here. I think to myself. I turn on my heels and begin jogging, spreading my wings as I pick up my pace, then with one powerful flap, disappear into the night sky.

I soundlessly land just outside her bedroom window. I can see her pacing the floor, distraught and struggling to sleep. She glances to the window and looks right where I'm standing. If I had allowed myself to be visible, she would have seen me, but she just looks at the snow, then turns. I see here grab a blanket and snuggle up just under the window. 

I step closer just as she places her delicate fingers against the glass. I reach out my own and place my hand against hers. I curse the glass separating our touch but know it is for the best she doesn't know I'm here.

I can feel her sorrow roll out into the night and engulf me. I may not be able to hold her like I desire, but I can do something to ease her heartache. I lean up against the side of the house, just beside the window and close my eyes, letting the comfort I have within me flow into her. I feel her relax and begin to drift off, and I lean my head back, feeling at peace with what I was doing.

A/N I can't wait to get to the good stuff! I know it's taking it's time, but I gotta build it up! Also, let's send well wishes for a speedy, healthy, recovery to our Yoongi! And last note, the boys and Big Hit are trying to kill us with these concept photo's I swear! Anyway, love you all who are reading! Please vote and comment! Let me know which concept photo has been your favorite so far!