Empathy ⌯ Stiles Stilinski

[09] the bus

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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄
the bus

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( pack mentality; pt.i )

THEY rattle against their cage, like rabid dogs trying to free themselves from the bars. Stuck inside their prison and begging to be let loose. They won't silence, a war—torn field that once did but will nevermore know peace. Her mind prepared its defences, but they're easily torn down as the thoughts stampeded through, laying waste to the calm, suffocating her in their wake.

Maddie tosses and turns, trying to hope that her physical comfort will equate to her psychological one, hoping that the thoughts will silence if she can tire herself out. The deafening sounds are nothing she's not used to, in fact, it's almost a daily occurrence. But there's always something that sparks it——usually an incident from the day before or a dream she's had. Maddie doesn't remember having any dreams and she thinks that yesterday was a pretty good day.

She handed in her partial English plan that she worked on with Allison, albeit after subtly proposing to study anywhere but the girl's house. Sure, her father wouldn't hunt her down, but it almost feels like a betrayal to Scott if she goes there——plus there's the irrational thought that by simply one look Allison's dad will know that Scott is a werewolf; while the chances are slim to none on that, Maddie doesn't want to take the chance on proving her anxiety wrong.

But there were no thoughts to provoke the muddle of lyrics and no dreams that she recalls——which has always been the stupid thing about them, Maddie can never remember dreams unless they're a nightmare——so whatever's happening is just another way to torture her.

At some point, Maddie decides to give up on trying to sleep, staring up at the ceiling as her fingers drum through her duvet to her abdomen as she waits for the chatter to stop and either dull into static or silence completely. Neither occurs, rather the sounds build, words building into words, incoherent, indecipherable, but noticed nonetheless.

The thunder echoes in her mind, eyes squeezing shut as her legs start to bend, knees trying to reach to her chest as she clamps her hands over her ears——anything to block out the sound, anything to make it stop. She tries to speak over it, shout into her mind, beg for it to shut up. It's not until the voices reach a climax that everything then suddenly goes silent, leaving her only with a ringing in her ears, a high—pitched buzzing that drills into her brain before that too slowly fizzles out, leaving her with the sporadic car swooshing by in the background and the birds chirping away as they sing to their hearts content.

Her breathing fades in and she slowly releases her hold over her ears, stretching her legs back out as she kicks the floral covers off her body. She sits up in her bed, head bowed down to get used to the position before she lazily puts her hair up in a messy low—bun and routinely tucks the escaping hairs behind her ears as she slips her feet into her slippers.

Maddie turns her phone on before she stands, checking the time. Her eyes close as she contemplates lying back down after reading the time. Sure, 6:27 is only a few minutes until her alarm goes off, but it's a few minutes that she could have used to sleep, no thanks to her no—good brain of hers.

Begrudgingly, she stands, grabbing her Star Wars hoodie and pulling it over her head before she heads outside into the hallway and heads for the bathroom. The cold water refreshes her slightly, jolting her sleep—deprived brain awake slightly, and she dries off her face with a towel before looking in the mirror. Either it's the lack of sunshine or her usual stress, but she looks paler than normal.