Lonely (Remus Lupin X fem!reader X Sirius Black)

Chapter I

Lonely (I)

~ September 1st, 1975 ~

1st Person

Y/n

I scanned the large crowd of people filling the great hall. Groups of people find their places at their tables next to friends or known peers. A bright mess of dark curls and fiery red hair caught my eye; Dawn and Wendy.

Although I was thrilled to see her best friends, I wished it was someone else. I weaved through people in the growing crowd to get to my favorite spot at the Gryffindor table.

Before I could move to sit next to them, both of the girls jumped to hug me.

"ahhhhh Y/n! I've missed you so much" Dawn clung to my frame, her usual rose shampoo filled the small space between us.

"Y/n how was your summer?" Wendy huffed as her and Dawn fought to embrace their best friend.

"If you let me go and let me sit, I'll tell you all about the kittens I got over the summer." I chuckled.

"KITTENS-" Wendy practically yelled, I slapped my palm over her mouth, effectively quieting her, and earning a few side glaces from other Gryffindors. A shot James a thin lipped smile, seeing him chuckle at Wendy's yelling, but also taking note of a missing Remus.

Wendy looked at me then across the table to Dawn, before she licked the inside of my palm.

"Ew. Wendy." I wiped my hand across the edge of Wendy's robe, before getting a mild look of disgust from her, "speaking of Remus, where is he, I've been looking for him all evening."

Both Wendy and Dawn made direct eye contact before looking around, then back to each other.

"Haven't seen him." They both said, glancing down at their palms. Wendy flamed red, and Dawn suddenly found her toes interesting.

"what up with you two-" Y/n glared at her friends.

Suddenly two men hurried to their seats next to their friends.

My heart plummeted, sinking into my stomach, which twisted and turned. My face muscles pinched up, and my brows furrowed.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

I leaned close to her Wendy's ear, smelling her usual floral perfume, "He was here this entire fucking time and didn't even say 'Hi' or something."

My voice broke at the end of the sentence, the wall of emotions was starting to crumble. Hours, HOURS! I wandered, searching, looking, calling.

The shake in my voice was enough to shut me up, Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry.

I sat there, on the wooden bench of the old gryffindor table, and I thought. And pondered. And mulled over every thought connecting to Remus. Fucking Lupin. I zoned out, retreating into my mind, which swirled, and shook, and cracked.

Don't fucking cry, don't you dare give him the time of day.

2:23 am

A shiver ran through my body as I wandered the dark halls, sleep was not an option, Remus hadn't come see me even after the great feast, and when I tried to approach him he was always being pulled away by someone.

The cold autumn drift, wormed through the cracks of the stone halls. The bags under my eyes, pulled my face down, begging for sleep.

"Two years huh, all for nothing." My fingers ran along the rough stone of the walls.

"meow" A soft nudge against my ankle causes me to look down, to a large fluffy black and gray cat.

"Aw, Luci always coming to the rescue huh," stopping momentarily to lean down and pick my cat up, I rested her on my shoulder, where she snuggled under my chin, "Love you, Luci, guess you're telling me it's time for bed."

wrapping my robes around me further, I carried my cat and myself to the dormitories.

"My sweet kitty," I kissed Luci between her ears as I unlocked the Gryffindor common room, "Caput Draconis."

The fat lady smiled at me and moved her painting to let me through. Another smaller blue-gray cat meowed my way, as she perched upon a couch arm.

"Aw. hello my love," I scooped my second cat up around her belly and held her against the side of my stomach, "Up to bed my lovies."

I slowly climbed the stone stairs, with my cats snuggled close to me, heading to my dark dormitory by myself for the first time in two years.

Approaching the door to my shared dormitory, I heard the clattering of a small gathering in the dormitory.

"James- Sirius shut up! James truth or dare?"

"uh Dare-"

"chug"

listening to their conversation, I knew that the marauders were having their usual Friday party in my shared dorm. The cheery sound of Dawn's laugh and chirpy giggle of Wendy. Then the deep dulcet tone of Remus' chuckle.

Screwing my eyes shut, I knew that my cats were expecting a meal and to be wrapped up in their favorite blankets for night time cuddles. Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry.

I pressed Thea closer to my side so I could twist the door handle, then using the toe of my shoe I pushed the door open, the noise of the small party not dying down even as I walk past the small living area.

I set both of my cats onto my bed, Luci, finding her favorite spot on my pillow, awaiting her evening meal. However the much younger kitten, Athena, is sitting on the edge at the foot of the bed. Not So patiently waiting, excitement swaying in her tail.

I dug through my packed trunk, to reach their smaller one at the bottom. The smaller trunk looked the same as my much larger one, it was just a mini version. As I pulled the trunk a sweater fell.

My eyes trained to it, the crème colored knit-sweater that now lay on the ground. Don't cry, Don't cry.

That's the sweater that Remus gave to me before summer break, this year.

Setting the two metal bowls onto the bed, filling them with food, then serving to the awaiting beasts that adorn my bed.

"Here lovies, going to change." I grabbed my usual pajamas and headed to the back room to change in privacy.

I swiftly made my way back to my bed, setting the now empty dishes on the floor next to the water bowls, and crawled into bed.

Cuddling under the covers, I faced away from the small gathering. Luci resting, curled up under my chin and Athena sprawled out on the other pillows. I listened to the small chatter and laughs, the clink of alcohol bottles, and the ripping of sweets packaging.

Don't cry.

937 words