what makes us tic

chapter fourteen

"hgtv?" alicia asked as she sat down on the bed beside me, covering her legs with blankets.

I nodded as i turned around sat up, stiffening up as alicia laid her head on my shoulder.

"you can sleep Drew" alicia whispered as the tv continued just loud enough to hear clearly.

I wanted to say goodnight but i couldn't stop humming, opening my mouth just to close it tightly. I squeezed her hand instead and lied down on my stomach, hugging the pillow beneath me.

The tv slowly faded as i did, succumbing to the sleep that gnawed at me.

—

That morning when I woke up I couldn't get up, physically I was in peak condition (well mostly) but the thought of sitting up weighed on me like 1000 pounds.

"Alicia?" I asked, feeling her turn around behind me and throw her arm around me.

"Not feeling good?" She knew, wiping the tears off my cheek that I hadn't even realize were there.

"Yeah, I'm sorry" I choked out, pulling the blanket over my shoulder.

"It's fine, take your time" she patted my shoulder and got off the bed, exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

❗️❗️❗️ major tw ahead ❗️❗️❗️

—

Blood, pouring from my wrists faster than I've ever seen it before. Pain seared through my arms starting in my fingers and shooting up into my shoulders.

A distant scream echoed in the bathroom, a blurry figure running towards me and dropping to their knees.

"Ambulance, 155 Whitgrove please hurry i think he's going to die please" alicias voice was panicked, wet from tears as she yelled into the phone.

"Drew please, please stay" her voice got further and further away as my eyes rolled back and I drifted away.

—

I woke up to steady beeping, I could hear voices swirling around me but i didn't want to open my eyes just yet. Opening my eyes would mean it was real, I would be present.

Something cold was constricting my wrist, I lifted it slightly and felt it tug. I realized then they were restraints, a pair on each limb.

"Mr. Roth, how are you feeling?" A nurse walked into the room as i pulled against the restraints.

"please, take them off" I begged, the nurse stared at me with pity.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that" she scribbled on my chart, her bouncy curls falling in front of her eyes.

—

"Drew! How's my favourite patient?" Nurse Olivia walked in my room and switched places with the night nurse.

"I - I - suck dick! I bet *oOoO* you say *fuck that* that to *one blastoff* all your *bloop* patients" i sat up and hugged my bandaged arms to my chest, the restraints off them but still on my ankles.

"It's been one week, you can start to have visitors" Olivia smiled as she put down a tray of food with a couple bottles of pills.

"Hmm" i answered with a nod as she sat in the chair in the corner, working on charts.

I picked at the food and took the pills as she watched, lifting up my tongue so she could make sure I swallowed them.

I grabbed my phone off the counter which I had recently just gotten privileges back.

hi - me

what the fuck Drew - dylan

I know, I'm sorry - me

you haven't answered me in a month - dylan

yeah - me

that's not an answer. - dylan

I know - me

are you going to give me an answer? - dylan

I don't know - me

Drew - dylan

I'm sorry - me

You keep saying that but I have no fucking clue - dylan

I never have a fucking clue apparently - dylan

615 - me

What? - dylan

Room number, I'm in the hospital - me

I'll explain - me

—

Olivia was gone but the door was open as it always was, a direct view to the nurses station. There was also a large window that showed the hallway from the elevator which is how I saw dylan roll of the elevator.

"Well now I feel bad for being pissed at you" dylan said as he rolled into my room, sitting right beside my bed.

"You were *oOoO* right *wrong!* to be *fuck you* pissed at - at - at me" i rolled onto my side so I looked into his eyes, hiding my bandaged arms under the blanket.

"when did you uh, try to erm.." dylan wanted to ask but didn't know how, staring at my arms.

"three - suck a dick weeks *bloop* ago" I sat up and got out of bed, my grey sweats clinging to my legs.

"Where are you going?" Dylan asked, rolling beside me and following me out the door.

"I'm *fuck you* not - cock sure" i turned around for a brief moment and smiled, feeling higher than the clouds as i walked out of the room and down the hallway.

I stumbled a bit as I walked, the heavy medication making me so tired that my vision was blurry and my eyes felt heavy.

"I didn't *bloop* know this *oOoO* place had - achoo - a bistro" i looked up at the signs above our heads, fixing on the one that said bistro in large black letters.

"Fancy ass psych ward" dylan laughed and agreed, his black chipped fingernails catching my eye as he spun the wheels.