It's been a couple months since that night. I barely eat and I barely sleep. The memories haunt me day and night and it's like there's no release from them. I can't stop thinking of the way he laughs or the feel of his lips against mine. I wanted him back so bad. The problem was though that he could never come back he was gone and it was all my fault.
"Babe stop messing with the radio" Michael says. I laugh and keep messing with it loving the way his nose wrinkles a little from him getting frustrate.
I shake my head. I never want to forget him but I dont want to remember that night it's just to painful. Everyday it's like someone is stabbing me in the heart and my friends and family don't understand. They want me to go out and pretend to be happy when in all reality I'm not. I don't deserve to live and be happy when I took someone's life from them. Not just any life though. The life of the man I love and will always love. I can't go on living a normal life when the one the I love the most is gone. I have to stop thinking about it though. Every time I do it makes me super depressed and I don't want my family to worry. I get up off my bed and grab my phone and headphones so that I can drown out my thoughts. I put the headphones in and turn the volume up to the point where I can't think but i can still hear if my mom or dad calls for me. I listen to his bands music and start crying. The music was supposed to be a release but now all the memories of him flood back. From the first time I meet him at his concert and he accidentally spilled water all over my shirt. To our first date when he took me to the fair. I ripped out my headphones music was making it worse and I didn't need that right now. I wasn't really feeling hungry but I felt like I should eat some food to make my parents happy. I didn't change just stayed in my pj's and went downstairs to get like cereal or something. When i got down there my mom was sitting in the living room crying with my dad holding her. "I don't think she's gonna be ok, she needs help but I don't know how to give it to her" my mom sobs out. "We can always take her to a therapist I suggested it when the accident first happened but you said you wanted to give it time it's been time and she does need help. When she comes downstairs we're going to tell her" my dad says. I hear that then run back up to my room, grab my phone, then run back downstairs. I open the door and yell out the I'm leaving and walk out the door without waiting for a response.
YOU ARE READING
Crashed (COMPLETED)
FanfictionMichael died and you're family wants you to get over it, but you couldn't. What happens when you finally crack and spend more time with Ashton because he's so understanding?
