"fuck it" | buddie [super slow updates!]

buck [3].

8:38 am

[buck's pov]

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thump.

thump..

thump...

my sore eyes slowly cracked open, the feeling of my head lightly banging against the icy car window jolted me awake, leaving me a lovely headache as a parting gift. i rubbed the sensitivite spot as i straightened out my back, taking in my surroundings. cole was to the left of me, bobbing his head to the beat of whatever rap song that was playing. i switched my line of sight to in front of me, the open road stretching to lord knows how far.

"finally up, sleeping beauty?" my boyfriend grinned at me.

my groggy mind couldn't produce anything more than a bewildered "..huh?" as i tried to remember getting into cole's car in the first place. last i checked, this didn't look like LA. "where are we?"

i was met with silence until cole finally answered me. "..you hit your head or something, babe?"

"n-no.." i just stared at him with a look of confusion painted on my face, trying to piece together a timeline of how i got here, "the last thing i remember is opening the present you got me.."

"what present...?" cole turned his head this time, his smirk appearing and disappearing immediately before he switched to a more concerned expression. "babe, i don't know what kind of dream you just came back from.." he returned to his signature smile before continuing, "but it sure did a number on you.

"we're going to visit my parents, remember? you wouldn't shut up about meeting them for months."

i shook my head, hoping to knock those memories into place, but nothing happened. i couldn't remember asking about cole's parents at all, not even once.

"i don't remember anything- i can't even remember your parents names o-or.." i panicked, feeling myself beginning to hyperventilate. "-i can't even remember how we got here! the last thing i know was i got home from w-work and-"

"-what do you mean, 'work?' you took vacation leave to come with me.."

my lungs started to race when i heard that, and less and less air entered my airways. i felt cole swerve to a stop on the empty road and gingerly place his hands on the sides of my face.

"buck, baby..." he looked into my eyes, "you need to calm down, ok? my mom's a nurse, she'll take a look at you when we get there. i need you to breathe for me first, alright?"

i followed cole's instructions and matched my breathing with his, returning to a normal rate.

"feeling better?" he rubbed his thumb across my face, scanning the rest of me for other problems.

"yeah, i just.. i don't know what's wrong with me," i took his hand from my cheek and interlaced our fingers.

cole moved our intertwined hands and pressed a kiss to the back of my palm before revving up the engine and driving back onto the road. "i'll give my mom a call, don't worry too much, okay? oh, and drink some water, maybe it'll help."

i nodded in response, reaching over for the bottle between us as i heard him begin to dial a number. after a couple of sips of the room temperature and off-tasting water, i leaned my head against the car seat and let the soothing feeling of cole rubbing circles into my skin send me back to sleep.

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[eddie's pov]

my boots squeaked against the floor as i dragged them behind me, anxious to see buck. it hasn't even been a day since our little fight in the closet, but it felt like ages to me. i wanted to come clean and finally explain everything, and to get him away from stab-happy cole.

"eddie! hey, where's buck?" chim's voice called out to me from above.

i twisted my head left and right looking for him, hoping that he would walk right in behind me. i stared at the door of the 118, wishing that the next face to walk in was buckley.

"ed..?" chim placed his hand on my shoulder.

"probably missed his alarm," i gave chimney a thin-lipped smile, aching to drop the subject. "maybe a sick day, even."

buck couldn't have skipped work because of me... was i that insufferable? it can't be, he loves this job more than anything.

"huh.." chim frowned, his hands resting on his hips as he walked back upstairs. i made my way to the locker room, ever so grateful that it was empty.

i hurriedly stuffed my hand into my back pocket and fished out my phone, just to stare at buck's contact profile. my finger hovered between the call or text option, inching back and forth between the two. i let out a huff after i finally decided to call him, hoping that i wouldn't be sent to voicemail.

after a minute of ringing, that's exactly what happened.

"damnit.." i sighed, hitting the call button again and again until i'd left 10 missed calls and 3 voicemails. i gripped my phone tight with frustration, gliding out the locker room door.

i left the station with my heart pounding, praying that buck was just extra sleepy today. i sent chim a text telling him where i was going before i started up my car, ready to pass every speeding limit if it ensures buck's safety.

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thump.

thump.

thump.

i knocked thrice on buck's door before attempting to look through the peephole, knowing that it wouldn't accomplish anything. i bent down and grabbed his welcome mat, flipping it over to see a spare key taped to the underside. i let out a sigh, relieved it was still there. i snatched it and shoved it into the keyhole before bursting into his apartment.

"buck??" i raised my voice as i hastily made my way up his stairs. i was met with an empty bed and his phone abandoned on his bedside drawer. a spike of fear shot through me before i rushed around buck's room, checking every nook and cranny for a sign of him. my vision became blurred as my tears pricked my eyes. i slipped my phone out of my pocket with a shaky hand, dialing 911.