Actor Imagines: Thomas Brodie Sangster Book 2

Bread

I sat doing some knitting, drinking a little wine while something was on tv. I wasn't sure what something about cars and bikes I don't know Thomas was watching. 

"Y/n?" He asks leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa, his cheek on his hand looking at me 

"Uuummm?" I asked as I worked 

"You're a history person… right?" 

"I teach history, yes Thomas" I laughed

"When was anal Invented?' he asked and I glared at him a little "I'm curious?"

"Really? Nothing else you wanna ask?"

"When was anal Invented? Also have men always desired anal or is that a more recent thing? Oohh when was the first vibratior invented"

"Anal has been around as long as sex has Thomas. People have always wanted to stick their dicks in butts. What did you think gay sex was a modern invention?"

"No, just kinda assumed it was less common due to… all the historical not liking of that sort of thing"

"You'd be surprised"

"So cave men wanted anal?'

"Yes Thomas"

"How do you know? Are there cave drawings of anal?" 

"You have got sex on the brain today Thomas' I laughed giving his cheek a kiss as I return to my knitting

"What about vibrators?"

"Post electricity in homes obviously, mostly stuff that's not even marketed that way. Hair vibrators, foot massagers, tooth brushes. Old enough what most girls use the first time"

"But like properly as a release tool" he smirked 

"60's"

"Dam the 60's must have been a horny time"

"Maybe that's why you like it so much?'

"Hey" he argued "what about guys ones?"

"Flesh lights are from the 90's Thomas there as old as you" I laughed "before that blow up dolls"

"Ooh… blow up dolls are terrifying, I do not wanna see what a like 50's blow up sex doll looks like, what about before blow up dolls?"

"Hands? Or your pillow? Or a whore of you really wanna go back in time?"

"What did people do before lube?"

"What?"

"Well I imagine stuff like anal would have been complicated… without lube"

"Olive oil" 

"Wait really?"

"Yeah, ancient greeks would use olive oil for lube all the time, mostly for orgies, and for gay sex"

"Dam… I wanna be an ancient greek all they do is sit in bed sheets, drink wine and fuck each other. Sounds like me in another life"

"That's true"

"Wait so we kinda thing greek people like oil because of the food and stuff they where actually using so much because they where having boat loads of sex?"

"Pretty much yeah"

"Hu… I wonder if there were like specific people making olive oil for the purpose of sex. Like ancient lube makers… like ye olde anne summers?"

"They used coconut oil too"

"What can't you use coconut oil for? And I was convinced that was a millennial thing"

"No people have been using them forever"

"Isn't olive oil flammable? That just… seems like a bad idea to put something flammable on my dick, in a time of fire light being only light, what if your little lubing up and then a light falls off the walls sets your dick on fire!" 

"Why are you so concerned about ye old sex today Thomas?"

"I don't know, I'm bored, I'm horny, curious about ye old sex"

"Well realistically people have been putting things vaguely penis shaped inside them since the beginning of time, but ancient greeks used stale bread sculpted I to dicks and covered with olive oil-" I began

"To make ancient dildos?"

"Yep"

"Dam the ancient greeks were horny" 

"Yeah they kinda where"

"I'm convinced I was an ancient greek at some point. All of this sounds like shit I would have done. Hell it was probably my Idea,"

"Weirdly it does sound like something you would do"

"It sounds like something I'd do now let alone in ancient times. I'd fuck bread if there wasn't vibrators"

"No no Thomas the bread would fuck you"

"... I'm down" he shrugs 

"Remind me to keep you away from our groceries" 

"We have sex toys I'm not going to fuck the groceries y/n," he says "unless they look at me all sexy like you do when your horny"

"Anything else?" 

"May… we do so anal?"

"No"

"May… you suck my Dick?'

"No" 

"May I fuck you?"

"Alright" i giggled

"Yes!" He smirked, grabbing my hand and dragging me upstairs.

I smiled as I returned from the store "hi Thomas," as I smiled seeing him sat on the sofa 

"Hi y/n, did you get what I asked for?' he asks 

"I did" I smiled grabbing the pack of cigarettes from the bag and throwing them at him 

"Thank you" he smiled

"Ohh I also got you a present"

"A present?' he asks excitedly so I handed him the small long bread I got from the reduced section as it was slightly stale he took it and seemed confused giving it a squeeze "why did you- oooh… ha ha very funny" he sighed "jokes on you we have olive oil I'm trying this" 

"I would recommend it Thomas" I giggled putting the rest away and going upstairs to sit in bed with my book and soon enough he returned from wherever he had gone looking panicked and in pain "how'd it go?"

"Uhhh… not great" he says 

"Was it nice?'

"Not really no"

"How are you feeling?"

"Weird… it started as not that bad. It wasn't like lubed up vibrator great but it wasn't that bad it wasn't like trying to do anal on yourself for the first time with a hair brush bad"

"But?"

"But… then it was bad"

"How so?" I asked 

"We uhhh kinda… have a problem" he says showing the bread I had bought for him but it had snapped almost half way down 

"Where's the other bit Thomas?"

"Where the fucking hell do you think it is!" He complained and I just started giggling uncontrollably at him "y/n! This is not a laughing matter!'

"Yes it is, that's hilarious Thomas' I giggled 

"I'll shove this up you and break it off, see how you like it!' 

"Thomas relax it shall resolve itself… well it should depending on how far you stuck it up there?"

"Uuuuhhh pretty far" he blushed 

"Do you want to go to the hospital?'

'maybe yeah"