𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | ✓

36| Feelings!

Feelings

they are like waves which sink you in them. And you can't help but see yourself getting drown. You try to rise from them but they become more stronger and pull you down with them again. Making You drown Again.

That's what they do. And that's what happening with Naira.

She stood in her room,at the window. Looking outside at the sky which was turning black from The Orange-reddish one. Slowly the red-orange colour was fading from the sky and black colour was taking over. Naira felt the same with her life. Though her life was never the colourful one, happy one.

But Kartik acted as sun in her sky. Who painted different different colours in her sky called life. But when her eyes saw the setting sun. She could feel the melancholy setting in her heart. Just like the setting sun,she could feel Kartik going away from her. Because of her decision.

She felt utterly guilty of taking  decision of their relationship alone. Without his consent. Without including him.

She felt wind blowing through her. And she shivered,this time she didn't feel the wind soothing which she used to. But now that wind felt like it was baring her, scarring her and making her flinch as they touched her scars,not healing them but iching them.

She rubbed her arms,as if trying to provide herself warmth,but her heart knew that warmth,the warmth of him, his care,his gestures were gone.

He didn't leave. He was and he is keeping his promise but she is not. She left him. For good. And the bitter thing was that he didn't even know it. Why? Because she doesn't have the courage to face him,or to tell him that she left him. That she didn't choose him.

Tears slipped from her eyes,but she didn't wipe them. Letting herself know that now they would be the only companion with her. Her tears,her pain.

Her heart felt heavy. Like a weight was on her chest which was choking her. Not letting her breathe. Not letting her Live and clutching her in this pain. Just like she was cluchted in her father's conditions.

A knock on her door brought her back from her thoughts. And she composed herself and tried to make her voice normal. Her shaky voice.

"Y..yes!" She managed to say,and wiped her tears immediately.

"Di" the person spoke.

"Ayush" naira called and closed the window. Getting to the door to open it.

She opened the door seeing him standing there with concerned expressions. Naira moved to a side letting him in. She closed the door and turned to face him.

"What happened Ayush?" Naira asked.

"What happened to you di. Why did you agree to Papa's condition? How can you agree to marry someone you don't even know? How?"Ayush said holding her shoulders firmly. Trying to talk to her.

"I agreed Ayush because I want to live with mumma, papa and you." She said. Trying to smile. But failing miserably.

She patted his cheek. "I can't live away from you all. I have had enough but not now. Now.. I will live with you. Even if..it is for some years." She replied trying to keep her face straight. But the turmoil inside her was breaking her.

"Then what will happen to Kartik? Will you leave him? Just because of this stupid condition?"  Ayush asked holding her hands in his.

"What?" She asked wide-eyed.

"How do you know?" Naira asked bewildered.

Ayush gaze softened. "I am your brother,di. You can't hide anything from me. Anyways, when you went to garden with Mom. Your phone rang. I saw the caller ID. And when it didn't stop ringing. I picked it up to tell the person that you are busy. But the way he was worried sick about you. And started scolding about how you are careless,and how he was worried as soon as I picked up the call. I understood. And your behaviour itself tells di. That you miss him."

Naira couldn't help but feel the lump forming in her throat listening his name. Oh! How she wants to go to him. To embrace him and never let him go. But her decision ruined it all.

"Pls Aayush,do not tell anyone about him. And you also forget about him. I will start my new life with someone else. So pls don't bring his name again." naira pleaded.

"But di. He doesn't deserve this." Ayush tried to make his sister understand.

"No Ayush. He doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve the person who didn't choose him. He doesn't deserve a person who always gave him pain. Who always just sought comfort but didn't give him anything in return. He deserves to be happy Ayush. And with me. He wouldn't be that. So pls forget about him." Naira's heart clenched at those words her mouth let out. But she knew that it was the truth.

"I will di.. I will forget about him. But what about you? Will you be able to forget him. And for god's sake don't try to lie yourself about this. Because we both know the answer." Ayush asked trying to give her a piece of mind.

Forget about him. It was impossible for Naira. She can never forget about him. He was the only one who made her happy,who made her feel something which she didn't feel for quite a sometime, loved.

He was like a shade of tree for her in her journey. A shelter. He protected her, provided her with comfort and She sat in his shade,enjoyed but couldn't stay because she had to travel forward. Move forward and continue her journey.

Naira felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. Oh! How she wished that he could be her home. A permanent one. So that she could have him for good. And he could have her,for ever.

Maybe the Almighty didn't want it.

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