"Sara. Baby please wake up," I hear Harry say as he shakes me lightly. I open my eyes and blink a little before my eyes adjust to the light in the bedroom then look up at him. "Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep and moving around a lot. You had me really worried."
"I'm fine," I say as I sit up. "Yeah I'm fine."
"I wish you would open up to me," he sighs and looks down.
"I'm just...," I frown thinking about what I just dreamt about. The memory still in my brain. Still causing problems in my life. And to have Harry know my problems. "I'm scared."
"Why? I won't hurt you."
"It's not about you hurting me. I know you won't hurt me. It's about you running away from me. You thinking that it's too much baggage to handle," I tell him.
"It's not going to be. I know your family and I know all the shit with that goes on with your dad. With him not talking to you and your sisters. I know a lot of your baggage already Sara and I'm still here," he says taking my hands and he's right. He deserves to know this.
"Okay," I say taking a breath. "The night of my boyfriend's birthday party, we were all having fun and drinking and just hanging out. My friend Megan and her boyfriend, Nick and his friends were off doing whatever hey we're doing and we didn't really care. That night I decided to go to bed by myself because I didn't want to ruin Billy's fun. I mean it was his birthdays party. I fell asleep really fast only to be woke up to one of Nick's friends on top of me kissing and just running his hands over me body. He said that if I screamed he was gonna hurt me. So I figured he was gonna hurt me anyway so I screamed for Billy. Only to find out later that everyone I the house was drugged and passed out. So since I screamed he slit my wrist. Before I passed out I hit a candle into the curtains and set the cabin on fire. That's what I was doing last year when you guys came. I was in a coma for a couple months. From the coma and the smoke That I was breathing in my brain sometimes shut off and I blackout. That's why I take the medicine. It helps to keep me focused. But I was the only one that survived," I tell him tearing up a little. "I killed my boyfriend and my best friends."
I sit there looking at Harry as he looks at me in complete shock. After a while he finally speaks.
"Sara... i'm so sorry," he says. "I didn't know it was something like that. I just...," He says shaking his head. "Don't go."
"What?"
"Don't go back to Philadelphia. Stay with me. I can protect you and take care of you," he says moving closer.
"Is that what you think I need? You think I need someone to take care of me and to babysit me?"
"No I didn't mean it like that. I just... I don't want you to go now," he says.
"Why now? Why all of a sudden?"
"Because I want to be there for you and I want to-"
"Watch me," I interrupt. "I don't need a babysitter."
"What if you forget to take your medicine? What if you have nightmares again?"
"Just stop. I've been doing this for a year already without you," I tell him growing angrier the more this conversation keeps happening.
"Why are you getting so mad at me?"
"Because I want a boyfriend not a fucking babysitter Harry," I tell him.
"And I want to be your boyfriend but this makes me nervous," he informs me.
I nod and get up out of bed. "And you wonder why I was scared to open up to you."
"You're not listening to me. God dammit Sara!" He yells and rubs his face with his hands.
"Then tell me Harry!"
"I'm nervous about not physically being with you. I was nervous about being with you before you even told me all that stuff. I want to be with you but you live in Philadelphia and I live here. I want to be with you all the time and I want to show you everything," he explains to me.
I sit on the floor speckless. I've never had someone that wants to be with me all the time. Billy and I would go months without seeing each other since he went to boarding school and it wasn't a big deal with us.
"Harry... I-"
"Don't. Don't say anything," he sighs as he gets up and kneels next to me kissing me head. "Just think about it."
He leaves me in the bedroom and I really have no idea what to think. He asked me to stay but I still think that he's only asking do be can babysit me and make sure I'm not losing my mind. I'm not even sure if I'm not losing my mind but I do know that I love being around Harry. I love being here with him and seeing his face when he shows me something really exciting is amazing and I can tell that he loves introducing me to his friends. But does that mean I should stay? I feel like I have to be in love with him before I stay. But am I in love with him? I've know him for two going on three months. That's not enough time to fall in love with someone. Right?
