MY Pregnancy

August 16, 2014: The Day The Earth Stood Still

Well yesterday not much occurred, mostly phone calls frome people sympathizing and what not. Also I had my last doctor check up. I had to go to "the muck" aka Belle Glade, Fla. They just said that id be admitted into the hospital to deliver my baby. I got his last pictures, and Jay and I went to his moms house, because, she lived two minutes literally from Lakeside memorial Hospital.

We woke up 6:30am because I was scheduled for 7:00am. We decided to go in early because you know they gotta put the IV in and get your information, and all that other stuff. They handed me my beautiful white infornation bracelet (sarcasm). The receptionist told us to go up to labor and delivery, so I could get started. We started up the elevator, and headed to the room. Jay and I really didnt converse about anything. He just held me and thats all I needed. My room number 214, and I was greeted by two nurses one an RN and the other an assistant. They ordered me to get dressed, and told me to make sure I take off everything. When I got in the bed one of my nurses came in and started prepping me for my IV. I got scared, I HATE, DESPISE AND IM TERRIFIED of needles. I tried to be brave but it wasnt happening. She put the IV in my wrist, of course by the help of Jay I was able to get the needle in my arm. He put his shirt over my face and grabbed my hand. Even with his support, I still cried like a baby.

It was just Jay and I for awhile, watching tv. Then about 7:30am my aunt buffy oje of her daughters Dre'Janah, and my great grandma Geraldine, came in. My aunt wanted to know if I was wearing socks and I told her yea. She looked just to make sure. Lol.

I knew jay had to leave at 8 to take his son to his football game, cuz his dumbass babymama wasn't gonna take her child. I hate mothers like that man. It irritates me that I lost my first child, and many women who can give two fucks can have their child. Jay left before the ultrasound tech came in to make 100% sure that there wasn't a heartbeat. My hopes were put to shame, when she and we didnt see nor hear a heartbeat.

"Do you know what the sex would've been?" My aunt asked. I was about to ask the same question. She looked at the screen, and moved the doppler around my belly to see if she could see the genitals.

"It looks like a boy." She said. I smiled and I knew I had to call Jay.

"Do you want pictures?" She asked. I just nodded, didn't wanna answer because I was already tearing up. She gave me his pictures, and prepared to leave.

"Are you crying?" My grandma asked me.

"No." I half lied, I didnt allow any tears to fall.

"Hello." I knew it was jay so I didnt have to look at the caller id.

"The tech came in yet?" He asked.

"She just left and nothings changed."

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm on my way though ok.?"

"We made a boy." I told him.

"Damn man forreal?" I heard the disappointment in his voice.

"Yea." I felt my tears coming. I heard the door open and in he walked. He kissed me on my forehead and wiped a tear away. He grabbed a seat next to my bed.

30 minutes passed and within those thirty minutes his oldest sister came in, and one of my nurses placed this thing on my cervix that will dissolve, so my water can break. They gave me medicine that made me run a fever, and shake uncontrollably. Not that it was a side effect but still.

My water didnt break until, 1:45pm. I peed like very often. So they had to give me like a portable toilet. I finally reached 2 centimeters, but I still had one more to go. Everyone fell asleep except me. I started to feel something at my opening, so I tapped Jay, and told him to turn on the light.

"I feel something." I told him. That woke everyone up.

"I see it too." My aunt said. I had my legs up, but of course, the covers didn't cover everything, because I kept moving. Jay looked down and saw a blood clot, and told a nurse. They came in and changed my bed pad. False alarm.

6:00pm

"I have to pee." I told Jay.
"Damn baby you just peed two minutes ago." He said as he went to get my portable toilet. I peed, and thats when I felt so.ething dangling.
"What's that?" I asked Jay.
"The baby." He said, and went to get the nurse. It was time. Everyone surrounded me except my grandma, Jay and his sister, recording me from between my legs, and my aunt from the side close to my head. My nurse told me to push. I gave it all I jad, but he wasn't coming. I felt a contraction and pushed again, still nothing.
"Push Ki." My aunt encouraged.
"Push em out baby." Jay encouraged.
"I'm trying." And I was like very hard, but I couldnt really feel him.
"Push down like your gotta poop." My nurse said. I did just that, hard as hell and that's when he flew out. I saw my baby boy, my king, and I didnt start crying. We looked at him for a very long time, he was attached to me until my Dr. Finally came in from delivery other babies to cut his cord. Jays other sisters came in right after him, as he was cutting the cord. Thats when I broke down. Knowing that King will no longer be inside me, or attached to me anymore cut me to my soul. I placed my hospital gown over my face, and burst into tears. To me this was the day the earth stood still. Jay and his sisters and my aunt were taking pictures of my son. Jay came back over to me and gave me a hug.
"We can try again baby." He said. I chuckled a little. Dr. Barhoush, asked me to try and push out the placenta. I pushed and pushed, and everytime I pushed, he had to check, this muhfuckas hands were about as big as Rick Ross's but longer. I dug my nail deep into Jay's arm, not purposely though.
"Ow damn." He said trying to pry my hand off him.
"Thats right mess em up, he did this." I hear my aunt say, everybody laughed.
After another minute Dr. Barhoush told me he's gonna do a D&C. Its surgery where they go in the vagina to srape the placenta, and the excess.
After awhile everyone left cuz no one could come in the room, Jay said he'd be back around 8:00pm once I was out of surgery.
I was laid on this bed strapped down, had some medicine shot in my IV that burned like hell, and had me throw up acid, since I couldnt eat anything or drink anything, but I did have water.
After that I was out.

I had to stay the night at the hospital for two nights, and of course they had to draw some blood to see why I lost my son.

I was released on the 18th the day before my birthday, which sucked. Jay stayed home with me a few more days but he had to go work eventually. It was just me and my thoughts.