Unlovable

Chapter 8

I was running but I was going nowhere. I turned around to see him getting closer by the second. I screamed for help, but like always, no one heard me. No one could hear me. I pushed on trying to evade him, but he got me. He tackled me to the ground holding a knife in his hand.

‘I told you this would happen Daniel. You can’t do anything right.’ He hissed, the knife clamped securely in his hand brushing the blade against my jaw, trailing down to my arm.

‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry Dad, I told him I couldn’t stay!’

He brought the knife down, slicing the skin on my wrist open as I cried out in pain.

‘Please don’t do this. I’m sorry.’ I begged shielding my face.

He smiled wickedly and motioned his head to look behind him. My eyes followed to where he was signaling. Phil was lying on the ground, blood spilling out from around him. His blood. His face was pale, but he was still alive, still breathing, still whimpering in pain… because of me.

‘No! Phil! What have you done to him?!’ I shouted gritting my teeth at my father.

‘You should have stayed under the radar. I don’t want you, your mother doesn’t want you, no one does. No one ever will.’ He taunted bringing the tip of the blade down to my cheek and cutting from my face, over my neck, and finally down to my chest.

I squirmed under him trying to get away when his one hand shot to my throat stopping me from breathing while he brought his other hand, the one with the knife high in the air.

‘No, please. Please, don’t.’ I choked out.

He ignored me and brought the blade down, straight through my chest.

I sat up screaming, breathing heavily. I heard the door crack open as a tall dark figure stood in the doorway. I couldn’t stop the shriek that escaped me while I looked around frantically for something to defend myself with. I felt tears stream down my cheeks while I waited for it to be over with when the light flicked on revealing it to be Phil. I started crying harder, mostly out of relief, as he took long strides to get to the bed and pulled me into him tightly while I tried to stop my breathing from hitching and speak.

“Shh, it’s alright Dan. It was just a dream, okay? It’s not real, it was just a dream.” Phil repeated running his hand up and down my arm as I huddled into him.

“He—he found me. Like I said. A—and you were—he—he  stabbed—” I choked out through my irregular breathing.

“It’s not real. You’re safe, okay? I promise you’re safe. I’ve got security all around the building, inside and out, and I’ve got some stationed on this floor right outside the flat okay? No one is getting in here, understand?”

I nodded against him, grabbing a bit of his shirt in my hand cuddling my head into his chest smelling his raspberry vanilla body wash making me feel a bit more comforted.

“You’re shaking, Sweet. How about I get you a warm glass of milk?”

“No! No, please don’t leave.” I jumped, clutching onto him tighter, all feelings of comfort gone at the thought of him parting with me.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll stay right here, okay?” He hugged me tightly pulling me into his lap so he could cradle me.

I wanted to stop shaking and breathe normally and not be such a baby, but I literally couldn’t get those images out of my head. Phil lying on his side, killed by my father because of me. His face paler than usual and his blue eyes clouded over with fear and pain because of my carelessness. I scanned his neck for any traces or scars or bruises, but he’s fine. Of course he is. It was a dream. And Phil’s family will always protect him—unlike mine. He peppered kisses on my head, forehead, and cheek until I felt I was calmed down enough to say something.