Unlovable

Chapter 2

I waited until I was sure my dad was knocked out courteous of the empty bottle of whiskey on the floor. I retrieved my backpack from his room with a few of my clothes in it and grabbed my duvet off my bed as there wouldn’t be any point to leave it at home. I snuck into the kitchen and stole the box of granola bars hoping my dad wouldn’t notice. It’s not like he ate them anyways; he literally got them for me since they were cheap and they’d satisfy my hunger enough to leave him alone. I climbed on the counter and grabbed the jar of emergency money my mum had that I’m pretty sure my dad forgot about. The only time we had to dip in there was when the power went out. My mum built a fort with my brother and I while we waited for the delivery guy to come with our take-out. It wasn’t really an emergency, but at the time, my dad was at work and my brother and I didn’t want my mum to go upstairs in the darkness fearing a monster would get her. I smiled looking into the lounge where our blanket and pillow fort was built, remembering making shadow puppets and stuffing my face with pizza. I emptied the jar in my hand discovering that there was just about eighty pounds; enough to get me by for a little bit at least. With that, I got out a sheet of paper and wrote a note for my dad.

Dad,

I left last night and I’m not coming back. I promise I won’t tell anyone anything that happened as long as you don’t try to find me. I’m sorry I’m such a screw up.

Love,

Dan

Despite everything he’s done to me, I can’t help but love him. He’s my father after all. I still held onto the memories of when we were a family. I know that guy who’d smile at me and ruffle my hair as he walked past is down there somewhere but I can’t stick around and wait for him to show up. With that, I left through the front door and sat at a bus stop a few blocks away from my house. I decided I’d go as far as it could take me and figure out what to do once I got there. After paying my fare, I took a seat on the empty bus looking out the window waving goodbye to my old life. I’m not sure what I would do or where I would go, but I was out of that house. Maybe I could move to a big city and get a job. Then I can work my way up, save my paychecks and get a nice little place to live. Maybe I could work in an office or something but I’d take anything; even a shelf-stocker at Tesco.

***

“Hey kid. I said wake up.” The bus driver called back to me.

I hadn’t even realized that I fell asleep but my stiff neck told me otherwise.

“Where am I?” I asked him gathering my things.

“You’re in Manchester. Isn’t that where you wanted to go?” he asked sounding annoyed.

“Yeah, it is. Just making sure. Thanks.” I lied hopping off.

He pulled away as I looked around the dead city knowing it’d be alive and well in a few hours. I hugged my duvet tighter as the bus pulled away leaving me in this foreign city in the middle of the night. I took a deep breath summoning any courage I could and began to walk. I walked past restaurants, small shops, outlet stores, and everything in between. I noticed a 24 hour McDonalds still open, so I walked in.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I’d find somewhere to stay for not a lot of money?” I asked the cashier.

“You’re in Manchester, sweetheart. If you find a cheap place to stay, let me know. Did you want to order anything?”

“Um, no thanks. Can I just have a cup of water please?”

She handed me a cup and pointed around the corner to where the water fountain was. After filling up my cup, I took a seat and sipped my water starting to think. So a comfortable, safe place like a hotel was out. I wondered if there’d be a safe alley I could sleep in. I almost laughed at myself knowing no alley was safe, but I had nowhere else to go. Maybe this is a stupid idea. I should just go back home and beg my dad not to kill me for sneaking out. But I can’t go back. I need to get out because I can’t take the abuse anymore; the constant bruises and being punched until I can’t breathe, the horrible names and taunting—even if it is the truth. And if all works out, I won’t be sleeping in an alley for long. I’ll get a job and try to find a cheap flat or maybe rent out a motel room.

I thanked the lady at the register, threw my empty cup away, then left. I decided that I couldn’t sleep in an alley around here. I needed to find a well-lit one, but not very populated. I decided that one by a tenement building would be the best seeing as there’d be many witnesses if anything were to happen, but it wasn’t too crowded either. I began walking aimlessly around when I passed a church wondering if they could help me without making me convert, though it wasn’t likely. They’d probably turn me over to social services, and then my dad would find out. Government or church aid, out.

I pressed on walking for what felt like forever when I finally found a tenement alleyway that didn’t look too shady, though there was a bar across the street I took note of in the event of random drunks passing by or trying to steal from me. I walked about a fourth of the way down, not wanting to be in complete darkness and sat down. I wiggled out of my backpack and opened the box of granola bars. There were only seven left, so I had to make them last. I decided that I’d eat one in the morning seeing as I already had one today. Living on the streets is not much different than home; I still have to ration food, I’m by myself…the only difference is that I won’t get beaten. I wrapped my duvet around me curling up in a tight ball and used my backpack as a pillow. Tomorrow is a fresh new day; the first day to my new life. I have to be well rested, though I couldn’t help but feel excited wondering how different things are going to be six months from now. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and hope for a new day.