Only Love Remains - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 5 - Studio Work

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"God, I just can't get a good take!" I grumbled, frustrated with how the vocals were turning out.

"Use that frustration, you'll get a good take, I promise," Andy said, pressing on the button from the other side of the glass so I could hear him through the speakers.

My audio engineer, Marlon, just chuckled at Andy, who chuckled at my producer Perry, who chuckled back at Andy, making Andy burst out into laughter before he quickly apologised and told me to go on. We had spent hours just trying to get a good take and I think we were all just tired out to the point of madness.

The thing was, I really wanted this song to convey all the emotion I could possibly show. This song wasn't just about any old little story, these were my real feeling and experiences and I wanted to use that emotion to make a song better than I could ever imagine. The instrumental was fine, I had gotten that down quite quickly with the help of Andy and some other session musicians.

"You know what, I think it'd be good to do one more take and then we'll all go home. We'll just try it another day if we don't get it, is that alright?" I asked through the microphone.

Marlon gave me a thumbs up and we tried again. Honestly, it was going well the first verse until I completely mucked up the chorus, my voice accidentally cracking. I just sighed and took off my headphones, leaving the studio and calling it a day.

Andy rubbed my back as I walked into the mixing room, telling me it would be fine and I would get it how I wanted it. I guess I was just having a bit of an off day, we all get like that sometimes.

"It's alright, you sang great at least. We could probably use one of those for some double tracking or something," Andy said.

"Or," Perry said, looking like he just got a great idea, "I'll put a lot of reverb on it and make it quiet, and trust me, it will sound haunting under the main vocal track. You'll barely be able to hear it, but it could be good."

"See? Today was productive. Look, to cheer you up a bit, I'll drive you to that small Greek restaurant you like," Andy said.

I shrugged and smiled, nodding my head. "Yeah, alright."

This little joint had been my go to if I just wanted some good food. I don't know what they do with their meat here, but it was fantastic and so different to other places. They always say it's a secret passed down the family, and let me tell you, that's one hell of a secret people would be blessed to know.

Paul brought me here the first time we were together in London. He told me this food would change my life and I laughed it off until it was actually proved. I could eat it all day if I wanted to, I think everyone has that one restaurant for them.

It was a very low key place and the people that came here were mostly regulars who I always saw. I knew all the workers by name and would love to chat with them if I was alone. I try not to share this place too much, I think the fact that it's a bit of a secret makes it special, but at the same time, it's great to see others appreciate it.

There was always either a man or a woman at the door who would greet the customers. They were a married couple, both of them very kind and warm.

"Welcome back! It's great to see you two again," Alexandra, the woman at the door said as she handed us menus. "You know, Ramona, your friend Andy here has been coming so much, I already have an idea of what he wants."

I looked at him a chuckled. "Andy's been hooked ever since he took the first bite."

"Can't say I blame him. Enjoy your time here," she said as we were seated.

We sat down and ordered our usuals, before he just let me ramble on and on about whatever I would blurt out. That's what most of our time the past few days has been spent doing, me going on about how I don't know what I should do and him trying his best to help and support me.

I feel like I need some kind of sign to let me know what to do. Who knows if Paul's gonna get through this? He keeps saying it'll be better but it's always the same. I wish he would at least let me try, even a little, to help him.

Admittedly, I have still been in contact with him, but we didn't talk much. I know I'm supposed to let us have a little break, but when I get that call at a certain time of the day, I get excited knowing it's Paul. I want to hear his voice and know that he's alright.

He hasn't stopped telling me he loves me, I suppose that may be why he calls everyday. If he has nothing else to say, he'll just say something along the lines of, "There's not much to talk about, I'm not sure what to say, but I want to let you know that I love you."

It's not even like a forced one either, he says it slowly and softly and it's never rushed. The worst though, is when he calls me crying and begging and repeating that he loves me. It breaks my heart. A lot of people would have come back by that point, but I think we just need two weeks at least.

"You look real sad when you talk about it. Have you discussed it much with Paul?" Andy asked.

I shrugged. "Kind of? I guess I'll have to still talk to him a lot about it when I get back, but I try to explain it to him over the phone. Andy, I wanna go back to him, I really do, but I feel like he won't understand what it's doing to us."

"I get what you mean. I don't know how you do it, I don't know if I could last long without seeing Tim on purpose, but I get why you're doing this. Just make sure he understands that you two are alright, because I know you love him a lot and this might make him a bit scared you don't," Andy said.

"That's what I'm really scared about. I don't wanna go home and have him think I don't want our marriage anymore, because I do, of course. He's the kind that gets really worried about that stuff too, he's always expressed that his biggest fear is me leaving him, although I can't picture myself ever truly doing that. I mean, it's gotta be a balance I guess. I want him to know I really adore him, but he can't think I'll just stay in an environment like that just because I love him. There's gotta be a limit," I said. I stopped as the waiter gave us our food, which gave me a moment to breathe a bit.

Andy looked at me in concern. I must've looked really distressed, it was only then that I realised how much tension was in my face. "I think it might be good for you to go home earlier than expected. Maybe a few days earlier. We've already got a lot of the album recorded, you can always come back to finish it off later," Andy said.

"Yeah I know," I said.

He smiled at me. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up. Be ready at 6pm tomorrow. One of my friends is throwing a party, you wanna come with me and Tim?"

I shrugged. I really did need to get away from all the serious stuff for a bit and let myself loosen up. "I guess so," I said, before smiling back at him.

We ate our lunch before Andy had to leave a bit early because he had a meeting. He gave me some money to pay for the food while I sat there and did a lot of thinking. I was tired of both lives, the life where I had to unsuccessfully try to lift up my husband and the life where I had to take some time away from him in hopes something will change.

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