Billionaire's Daughter 『𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜』

Chapter Ten

Wanda had come to check on you and was trying to comfort you. You were in tears, you had let this happen. "Got a location?" you heard Steve say through the mic as he beat up some HYDRA guards. There was no location. You'd managed to screw up the rescue mission just as bad as you managed to screw up your relationship. 

"Steve it's too late," said Wanda. Your eyes were red but you couldn't stop crying. Steve sighed on the other side of the mic. "We lost connection, it won't come back up," you still kept trying. But you'd lost him. You'd lost him. Your fault. You had lost him. 

"It's my fault," you said shakily, between tears.

"It's not," said Wanda. She helped you sit down, and grabbed you some tissues. You looked a mess, you were a mess. She sat with you as you tried to steady your breathing and clear your head. But it was no use. Your brain just kept screaming to you that it was your fault that he was gone and that he was never coming back to you. That he wouldn't remember, and what had effectively been your relationship, was gone. 

You waited for Steve and Tony to come onboard. They were still in there, trying to save him. By the time they got to Bucky he would have forgotten you anyway, tears were still stained to your cheeks and no one tried talking to you. You just broke down into tears, this was the worst day of your life.

"We can't find him," said Tony over the mic. Everyone looked over to you, pacing up and down the jet, a tear rolled down your cheek, you could hardly even cry anymore. You hated yourself, you had let this happen.

"We need to regroup and think of a plan," said Steve.

"It's too late," you said, "Let's just leave already," making that decision broke your heart. But what was worse was that you were experiencing the worst pain you had ever felt in front of everyone else. 

Steve and Tony came onboard and they set the jet into flight mode as you left the base. You watched from the window, you couldn't believe you'd lost him. He was gone and he wouldn't even remember you. You hadn't even finished telling him you loved him. His last thought was that you didn't love him. Tears were silently rolling down your cheeks now as you watched the base disappear from sight.

"Y/n this was always a possibility," said your dad from behind you, "But we'll bring him back, I thought you two broke up anyway,"

"Because of you," you said in tears, "Because I couldn't risk you kicking him from the tower or him being hurt by one more person," you turned to face him, anger in your eyes as you stared at him, "I let him go because of you, and now this has happened and it's all my fault,"

You sat crying in the corner of the jet, just when you thought life couldn't get any worse. At least he knew who you were, at least before he loved you too, now, he doesn't even know you exist anymore. You're just another person to him. You're no one. You knew everything about him, you loved him. And you always would. But he didn't. Basically, you had lost the man you loved. And things would never be the same. 

"Y/n," said Nat, you looked up from where you were crying, your eyes and cheeks were stained red and you looked a mess, "We've landed, come on," she helped you to your room.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save him sweetie," said Nat as you curled up in a ball on your bed.

"It's my fault," you said between tears, "I let this happen,"

She sat next to you with tissues while you cried. It got dark and she said she was going to go get some rest. The familiar feeling of being alone hit you, but instead of being able to go to Bucky's room and steal a hoodie so you could have his scent next to you, or being able to see him laugh at one of Steve's lame jokes, he was gone. You wanted to find him, tell him it was going to be okay. But instead they'd turned him back into the Winter Soldier, the person he was the most afraid of.

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You woke up from a nightmare, Bucky being tortured playing in repeat in your head. There was nothing you could do. You could just see him in pain, hear his screams. Hear the laughs of someone who didn't care about Bucky. You shivered, and wiped the tears that you must have cried while in your nightmare. You pulled on one of Bucky's hoodies, instead of his scent filling you with comfort it just made you feel more alone. 

Sitting at the kitchen island with a glass of water you heard movement upstairs. Intrigued, you went up to the meeting room. "We just have to give them what they want," said Steve. You could only assume that they were thinking of some sort of plan to get back Bucky. There was a hope that they could bring him back. There was no hope that they could bring back your Bucky. 

You stopped outside the door. "It's HYDRA Steve," said your dad. Of course he wouldn't be all for getting Bucky back, "We have all open sources scanning for him, if we get a hit, we'll go get the guy,"

"He's on a HYDRA base Tony," said Steve, clearly annoyed. There was no point listening in on the conversation, it would just hurt you. 

You went back to your room and sat by the huge windows watching the city. You remembered all the times you and Buck would just sit there and look out over the city. You would hardly speak, but just comforted by the fact that you were with one another. All you could feel was your heart shatter. Bucky was all alone. And even if they hadn't wiped his memories he would just be afraid. He knew what would come eventually. And he would have no one there to hold his hand and tell him that it would be okay. And even if he was the Winter Soldier, he was alone. You let yourself cry for him. Letting your heart shatter as you kept thinking about him. 

If Bucky was out there, you just wished that he was okay. And you promised yourself that you would do anything to get him back. Anything.