The Scent Of Malice | drarry

forty one | the words we can't say

April the 12th was Draco Malfoy's last day as a Hogwarts student.

"You're lucky we didn't involve the Aurors, young man," Professor McGonagall had informed him brusquely when delivering the information of his expulsion. "Your behavioural misdemeanours this year were extremely serious!"

Was he supposed to be grateful? He supposed he was, but just nodded numbly.

"You have till Saturday to pack your bags and make arrangements to leave the school, Mr. Malfoy," the professor continued. "Your parents have been informed already-"

At this, Draco went very pale.

"-And I assume they will arrive on the morning of the 13th to remove you from the premises. Do you understand the reasoning for your expulsion?"

Draco did understand. She told him anyway.

"You are excluded for destructive behaviour, the violent attack of a member of staff, and possession of classified drugs. Do you have any questions, Mr. Malfoy?"

"No," he said quietly. "Though I hardly think casting 'Silencio' on a librarian constitutes a 'violent attack on a member of staff'. She's barely human, for Christ's sake."

McGonagall's eyebrows shot up in displeasure. "You would do well, Mr. Malfoy, to watch your tone!" she reprimanded him sternly. "Now, be on your way. Try not to cause any more serious damage as you leave."

Draco left in a daze, a million thoughts tearing up his mind. How was he going to tell Potter? He hated that that thought was at the forefront, but it really bothered him.

***

When he eventually managed to say it, it was on his last night at school. "I'm leaving tomorrow," he announced, as casually as he could manage. Harry was lying beside him in bed, the red drapes drawn and a Muffling spell cast for privacy.

"My parents are booking me into a very expensive rehabilitation facility," he continued airily. He had to keep talking, keep moving, distract himself from Harry's crumpling face. "They say I'm a colossal embarrassment, which I suppose is true."

Harry let out a small sound that sounded like a cry, and Draco brushed over it as quickly as he could.

"In the end you were right," he said, "I do ruin everything. And maybe now you can have a peaceful couple of years at Hogwarts without me to wind you up every day."

"I'll have a very lonely couple of years," Harry corrected him with a sniff. "I was never safe with you, but at least I was never bored. I won't know what to do without you."

"You will," Draco shook his head. "You always know what to do."

"Will I -" Harry's voice cracked, this was the hardest question. "Will I see you again?"

Draco knew that question was coming but it still hurt. "I'm not sure," he replied honestly. "As of tomorrow I'm barred from the school grounds, and I can't exactly imagine you visiting me at the mansion, anyway. And as for rehab - don't bother visiting me there if you aren't bringing ecstasy. I'll need something to while away the time, won't I?"

Harry laughed, but it quickly turned into a sob, and soon he was hysterical.

"Oh, don't, don't," said Draco awkwardly. "This is a good thing, remember? I'll get clean, and you'll get over me-"

"I won't," Harry wept. "I won't get over you. Not ever."

Draco's heart thudded. "I understand why you wouldn't," he replied in his usual arrogant tone, though it was harder to force than normal. He sighed, then dropped the pretence, it wasn't making anyone laugh any more. "Look, Potter, I'm sorry, alright? I wish things could've been different, too. I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I didn't ruin everything. But I do."

"You don't," Harry cried. "You make everything better, you make my life worth living. I wish I hadn't said what I said-"

"But I hadn't even thought about it before I said it out loud to you, do you know that?" Draco asked. "How do you undo me so completely?"

"I love you," Harry choked.

"I know you do. It's OK, Harry. I'm sorry."

***

Then the morning came, and it brought with it a wave of hard feelings.

Draco woke first, and then Harry opened his eyes half an hour later to see the other boy hunched at the end of his bed.

"Morning," he whispered, and Draco jumped, clearly on edge.

"Morning," he replied awkwardly. He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. "Look, Potter, there's some stuff I have to do this morning, ok? Before I leave."

Harry felt a lump grow in his throat, thinking back to Christmas. Draco had left him then without saying goodbye - surely he wouldn't do the same again this time?

Seeing the panic, Draco's face softened slightly. "I've just got to get my bags and have a final meeting with Dumbledore and my parents, it's nothing major. And I want to see my friends. I'll come back for you though, don't worry," he mumbled.

"Will you?" asked Harry.

"You have my word." And with that, he was up and heading out of the dormitory, taking Harry's heart with him as he went.

***

Draco kept his word, and Harry was overwhelmed with relief to see him again when he peeled back the drapes of the bed.

"You came!" he sighed happily, and the blonde nodded.

"How do I look?" he asked, smoothing down his crisp black suit.

Words like 'celestial' and 'radiant' flitted through Harry's head.

Like hope and tragedy and misery and bliss, lust and agony and desire. He looks like my aching soul in a suit.

Not wanting to weird him out, he opted instead for, "Great" as ever, and Draco smiled.

"I love you," Harry offered.

There was a tortured silence as the words hung in the air. He hated himself for hoping Draco would say it back. Why can't it be now? Say you love me now now now, oh my God, he's not gonna do it-

Suddenly Draco was crying, and the sight was so surreal it took Harry a second to react.

In that second he understood the pain and regret in Draco's eyes and pulled him hard into an embrace, tight enough to crush him.

"I forgive you," he whispered, without the other boy saying sorry, "I know what you can't say, and I forgive you for it."

Draco froze at the contact, then collapsed into Harry's arms, his body trembling with the effort of holding back sobs. "I can't look like I've been crying when I go back to my parents," he whispered, frantically rubbing at his eyes.

"You haven't got long, have you?" Harry realised.

"No," Draco replied. "I just came to say goodbye - I don't know what's happening."

"It's OK," Harry blinked away and eyeful of his own tears. It really wasn't OK, but he said it again. "I'll miss you."

"Yeah, I'll miss you too," Draco realised. Too little, too fucking late. "See you on the other side, yeah, Potter?"

He didn't know what made him say it: that particular phrase. And he certainly didn't know how appropriate it would become.

"See you on the other side," Harry nodded, the words sticking in his throat like hot glue.

And as he watched his love leave an ache grew in his chest where his heart should be, and it was the worst pain he had ever felt.

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a/n: thanks for reading, please vote and comment if you thought it was a good chapter!

and thanks for sticking with this book, i'm overwhelmed by all the support i've been getting🤍🤍

~ paradisedraco / auntie p