with you, i'll be okay

wish you were still here

Sean's POV

"Hey Jack, here's a little something for you." He said as he handed me a white envelope.

"What's in it, Bryan?" I asked out of curiosity

" It's an open when letter. Flip it to the blank side of the envelope.", He said as he pointed to the envelope.

I flipped it over to read, "Open When it's 8/8/04. Isn't that tomorrow?" I'm really shit with dates.

"Yeah, it's for tomorrow." He said hesitantly

"Why?". This is very confusing for me.

"God damn you ask way too many questions!" He said, making me laugh.

" When it's tomorrow, you'll know why", he said ominously.

" Why the fuck does it sound like you're gonna end up dead?", I said with a nervous laugh.

And to that, he just shook his head and smiled.

~t i m e  s k i p~

" He never seemed depressed", "I had Chem with him, he always seemed so cheery and upbeat", "I once saw scars on his arms, I thought they were just cat scratches.", were just some of the shit I had to listen to as I balled my eyes out. 

The whole school was at the funeral because it was a public funeral.

I was so angry because all these people thought he was fine, but in my anger, I realized I was one of them too

It was the day I learned that not everyone's who's suicidal seems that way, and not everyone who's depressed seems that way. The ones who are the most "fine" are the ones who are hurting the most. 

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I was jolted awake by my nightmare, only to realize it wasn't a bad dream, but it was a flashback of my miserable past. My head was spinning and I felt as I couldn't breathe. "Hey, hey, Jack what's wrong?" Said Felix sitting up and rubbing my back. "I r-remembered something from a long t-time ago," I said, trying to catch my breath as if I just ran a marathon. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I nodded my head and explained what happened, 16 years ago. "I'm so sorry, Jack. Did you ever get to read the letter?"

I was so consumed with grief, my little 17-year-old self completely forgot about its existence. "Now that you mention it, I don't think I ever did. I think it's still at my old house though, back in Ireland." I never did move out any of my old stuff from my room, and I kept everything from high school, because I liked reminiscing about it, even if it was just about math or science, I always had random shit written on my papers which would take me back to a time or an event in my life. 

"Well, when we get to Ireland you could probably read it, right?" Asked Felix. "Yeah I could, also, I know the reason we're going to Ireland is a sad one but I want to show you around, and I want my mom to meet my adorable Fiance. I know my past is a big part of me, but what I have now is what I choose to focus on." I said meeting his eyes. " I'm really proud of how far you've come." He said, pulling me in for a hug. "C'mon, we've both got a flight to catch in the morning, let's get some sleep," And with that he cuddled me, and we fell asleep.

Regardless of how shitty my past was, I'm still thankful for it, because it got me to what I have today.

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Hey guys, I'm sorry for not posting yesterday, I wrote about half of the flashback part ad then I had a writer's block. So instead I decided to finish it today, during my honors chem class. Which is why it's probably shit. Anyways, I've been wanting to incorporate Cryaotic into the story, and then I found out why he doesn't game with Felix, Jack, and Ken anymore. I was truly heartbroken. Thank you for reading, comment if you have any feedback, vote this part if you liked it, I love you all and I'll see you in the next part ✨