I did it. I finally did it. I left the house.
The overwhelming sense of unbearable pain I had experienced ever since Vinnie's death had since eased into coming much more bearable. Ever since he passed all I've done is lay in bed, eat, go to the bathroom, watch videos of us together and sleep. I'd wake up the next day and do it all over again.
Although, my favourite part of the day was ironically night-time. Because when my eyelids lowered I got to see the love of my life once again and feel his touch, his breath on my skin, his hazel eyes looking at me and his love.
My parents were worried for me. That's why I'm at a wedding right now. They thought it would be good for me to socialise again. I was literally forced here.
Looking at my cousin standing at the alter with his bride, made me realise how lonely I was. Why was I doing this? Why was I here? Was Vinnie here? I just wanted to be in my bed right now, this dress was digging into my sides. I wanna be in my pyjamas right now not this uncomfortable, godforsaken ugly big dress. I really missed him.
"You may now kiss the bride..." The priest announced, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my lap and my cousin and his wife were soulfully kissing. Tears welled in my eyes, as they stopped kissing and walked over to the dance floor to have their first slow dance. My eyes never left the happy couple as they danced in each others embrace. My heart yearned. "You okay darling?" My mother asked from beside me. I quickly turned my head towards her and nodded slowly before taking a deep breath.
I decided to distract myself and I walked up to the buffet. The food looked immaculate but, I couldn't help but imagine his reaction to all this food...
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"woah..." Vinnie said in awe of the array of food in front of us. I chuckled and he sped walked eagerly to the table and picked up a plate. "you know your cousins should get married more often." He stated standing beside me with a mix of random things on his plate. "I don't think it works like that vin." I said back.
"Well duh. But this food is just *chefs kiss*" He said making me snort out loud...
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A tear slipped down my cheek at I looked at my empty plate. Quickly wiping it I set the plate back down and decide that I wasn't hungry anyway. Turning around I was met with the happy couple themselves.
"Y/n! So glad you could make it!" Candace, my cousin's new wife, exclaimed. I gave her a forced smile and decided to give my best Oscar worthy performance to them. "Yes! Congratulations! I'm truly really happy for the two of you.." I said hugging them. They both had uneasy faces. In fact, everyone I had seen today did. They all look at me as if I'm a poor, dying creature, the pity seeping out of their faces making me physically sick. "well I'm going to find my parents now so congrats again!" I quickly dismissed myself.
I sat on a lone chair close to the dance floor and watched the old and new couples dance to slow songs. My eyes trailed all around the venue. Their were flowers set on every table, big chandeliers hung on the ceilings, a pink and white theme and fabric hung from the ceilings. It was truly beautiful. My eyes then landed on the newly weds once more. God. They looked so fucking happy.
Why couldn't I be happy?
I could only be happy with him. He's my life support. I'll never get over him, everything reminds me of him.
I couldn't hold back my tears as I clasped my head over my mouth, running to the bathroom. Locking the door, I slid down it and let my emotions loose, my sobs were hopefully not being heard by the 100s of people outside this door. I couldn't do this anymore, my throat dry from sobbing.
-5 mins later-
I slowly stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My dress was creased, my mascara was running down my cheeks and my eyes were puffy. WHY ME? Why me, why me? I should've died, not Vinnie. He was too pure fore this world. Too pure for me.
Bending over the sink, I rinsed my face making it look as if I didn't just have a frantic breakdown in the bathroom of my cousin's wedding. I looked up at my reflection once more reassuring myself that I was going to be fine.
Thats when I heard it. Our song...
*play the song at the top*
I slowly unlocked the door and walked out. The dance floor in sight, but empty. Only one person was stood on it. But their back turned so I had no clue who it was. I slowly stepped onto the dance floor and the person turned around.
Hazel eyes. Wide smile. My Vinnie.
I smiled and he held out his arms gesturing for us to dance. I hesitantly touched him, scared it wouldn't be true. My hands held onto him tightly as we slow danced to our song. His signature cologne filling my nostrils. I was home. I was safe.
We danced the night away and I was content with my closure.
so like I enjoyed writing that lol-mel 🤠
(p.s that pic of Vinnie is so wholesome but its sending me and idk why)
