The Age of Love (Book #1)

47. Losing Game

Not being proud of ourselves can come in many different ways.

Sometimes we're not proud of ourselves for not sticking to our word or a promise we made, other times, we're not proud of ourselves for not enjoying the moment, because nothing ever happens twice.

And as Drake would say:

"Some nights I wish I could go back in life. Not to change shit, just to feel a couple of things twice..."

There she was.

Fighting against the tide, in other words, the overwhelming urge to take him right there and right then, and fuck the world. But feelings were a powerful emotion, that worked liked a silent weapon held it against us.

Because it was feelings that changed the course of everything, and Theodore was right to only use his head in business, feelings got you nowhere.

Just like her in that moment, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"I can't bring myself to do this." She whispered, leaning further on his palm, watching him closely.

Theodore cupped her face, pushing her forward, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Then tell me what do you want or... if you don't want... this."

"I want what I have always wanted before. But..." She sighed. "I can't simply pretend nobody else exists and you..."

He caught her hesitance in her brown gaze, as she failed to finish her phrase.

Where was she finding all this resistance when he was only millimeters away?

To anyone else outside that bubble, it would be hard to explain how love and logic didn't always go hand in hand, how her heart told her to love him tonight and stretch the moment as long as the moon permitted, and but how her head told her to wait.

To listen to the swirling thoughts reviving her mind and reminding her what brought them to this, in the end, who was there and who wasn't.

"Me?"

"And you won't be there in the end, again." She painfully admitted.

"I want you back, make the rules, the regulations and I'll do my best." Theodore proposed. "But I ask you to think this thoroughly, my dear. You know my life, you know I won't always be in time for dinner or sometimes we'll have to go to cocktail parties with my ancient business partners."

She laughed at his humorous reference.

"But I will never leave you alone again, so, if coming to the office with me on a Sunday night doesn't sound too awful to you." He lifted an unforgivably dashing smile to her.

"Music festivals?" She joked through the pain.

Theodore raised his eyebrow opening up his smile even more. "I don't even have an appropriate outfit for such occasion."

Madison giggled at his expression.

"I feel you both cloud my judgment and clear my mind at the same time." She professed.

Theodore kissed her, taking her lips deeply in his, moving himself with passion and longing, feeling her fingers slip over his hair on the back of his neck, foundling his shoulders but she pushed him away.

"Theodore no, please stop." She was panting.

"Why?"

"Us being here, talking this, doesn't automatically mean we're getting back together. It doesn't annihilate the fact that I have a commitment with Hiro."