Just Here.

Conditional.

You've asked me before "why you?"
My answer was "I don't have any reasons why, but it's you." and returned the same question to you.
And you're answer was "Because you are..."

I seriously don't have any reasons why I loved you. I have loved you unconditionally. I've accepted you as a whole not just for a certain part of you.

When you're busy and stressed, I didn't say anything and understand, supported and cheered you. I've memorize "you" that I can even tell and feel what you're doing without you telling me. When you don't understand something I tried my best to explain everything to you. I was so proud of you to my friends and brag to them what's good about you and even protected you.

When I was the one who was busy and stressed, you became impatient and did something that we all didn't expected you to do. You have told your friends what's bad about me and made them hate me. You even made me a liar in your stories to a certain person and even erased me from your life telling that person you were alone for years while I was actually there.

I've tried to fix things and yet you blamed me for what I've said that "I still want to fix things with you" because you thought that I didn't do anything. But I did... I did all my best.

You told me before that you're not scared to lose me at all and now I know the reasons why. We thought you're going to change, and you thought that we'll never leave.

We never wanted to leave but it was your choice. Once can be seen as a mistake but more than that? It's already your choice... It was all your choice.

You have loved us conditionally while we're loving you unconditionally. We always try to find a reason to stay while you're giving us plenty of reasons why we shouldn't.

~ November 16, 2020 (2:11am)